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Planescape - Blood War IV. Sailing the River Styx

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I had read an article in an old issue of Dragon Magazine that detailed what sailing through the outer planes on the River Styx would be like. I really liked it, so I based tonight's session on it.

I also worked in material from Wrath of the Righteous. I will be pulling stuff out of there for a long time.

Parental Advisory: This is one of my more perverted sessions, so you might want to skip this if that's not your thing. I'll try to keep it clean but there's really no way to describe a penis cannon in polite company.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard 

The heroes own a cluster of buildings in Sigil called Deadbook Square.

We started off dealing with downtime. For whatever reason, this downtime stuff is always the best part of my sessions. It's always been like that since I was a kid and I don't know why.

The heroes had hired an ogre to work at their festhall last session. They decided to bring the ogre over to Bidam's little procreation farm in the abyssal realm of Azzagrat.

The ogre made some babies with Mother of All, the monster-woman who launches eggs and babies at people. Each session, I'm trying to use this as a way to introduce new types of demons.

This past week I got a piece of art from an artist who doesn't speak much english. I had asked for a corruption devil, but got this:

That's not a corruption devil, but I liked it, so I took it. This week, that's the creature that came out of Mother of All. It has a monocle that is fiery, apparently.

Alternative Facts: Then the heroes checked in on Theran's settlement, the earthmote-city/citadel of Tornbend. They learned that my Donald Trump NPC ("Gonard Flumph") had sent two imps to spread FAKE NEWS.

The populace was freaking out over rumors that there was a pedophile ring in the basement of the nursery where Grazz't's babies are kept. Theran disproved this by pointing out that there is no basement in the nursery.

The sexy devil nurse lady had been beaten by the citizens quite badly. Theran found the imps and blew them away with spells. To his dismay, he saw them disperse into clouds of brimstone. He had forgotten that devils only truly die when they are slain in hell.

Azzagrat is a demon realm, but there are some devils there because Grazz't is trying to actually unite the demons and devils into one massive army.

Theran patched up the nurse and they ended up entering into "activities of passion", as they say in second edition.

Beast Pox: Bidam went home to Sigil. The group had helped one of their employees, Floozy St. Assland, with a problem a while back. The adventurers had paid to cure Floozy’s parents of a disease called Slimy Doom.

Now that she’d saved up some money, Floozy bought her cursed parents a home in the Clerk's Ward and got herself a dumpy little apartment in the extremely smoggy section of the Lower Ward.

She was excited because she discovered that a portal was in there. She wanted Bidam to help her go into it and check it out in case it was dangerous.

The key to this portal is to hold hands. So, they held hands and stepped through. It lead to the Beastlands, a place the heroes had gone way back in the Great Modron March. They emerged right near the mortai (cloud with a face in it that blows wind). The mortai's name is Breath of Life, and he said hello in a booming voice.

When you stay in the Beastlands for a little while, you get Beast Pox. You start to gain some physical features of the animal that best represents your soul. Bidam is a pit bull. Floozy is a peacock! She got all shiny and had a massive peacock plume/wings growing out of her back.

Every session I give Bidam a choice. Until recently, Bidam was quite the ladies' man. But now he has two dragon-kids with the demon lord Bazuuma. He has this ring that gives him an emotional link to her.

So every session a lady comes on to Bidam, and then Bidam senses Bazuuma's positivity and thoughts through the ring and he must CHOOSE. Every single time he picks Bazuuma.
  • Family Time: He bid Floozy adieu and went to Bazuuma's abyssal realm. I had made up a whole bunch of demonic "family activities":
  • Demon Whale-Watching: The ancient whale demon lord, Bechard, shot blood and gore into the air through his mighty blowhole.
  • Breathing Breath: He taught Pyranica, his dragon wyrmling daughter, how to breathe her breath weapon.
  • Bedtime: Then he tucked them in and read them a bedtime story: "The Cat and the Cranium Rat" by Dr. Deuce. Obviously this is a dumb Dr. Seuss joke. This joke was much more well-received than I expected and the group was disappointed that I hadn't made up any lines from the book. I might do that for next week.
  • Blanket of Positivity: Then Bazuuma and Bidam spooned. Bazuuma has positive energy flowing through her. This spooning gave Bidam overhealing like he got when he went to the actual plane of positive energy. In this case, I declared he had 50 temporary hit points that would fade in 24 hours if they were not whittled down before then.
Rescue Mission: Next day, the group had a special mission to embark upon. The heroes work with the devil army. During a battle on the infinite staircase, many devil soldiers fell off the side of the stairs and landed in random planes.

One devil who fell was a spy named Cavus. Using magic, the devils determined that Cavus had fallen into the abyss and was currently a prisoner of Malcanthet, the Succubus Queen.

This was not good, because the demons would probably torture him and learn all sorts of devil secrets that might hinder their efforts in the Blood War.

The heroes have a magic pirate ship crewed by a skeleton pirate named Captain Ricketshanks. It has an orrery of the planes on it, it can fly like a spelljammer, and the group can summon it and dismiss it with their magic whalebone scrimshaw.

The heroes grabbed some NPCs to crew the ship:
  • Acolytes of a good goddess. These acolytes were members of a tribe that the heroes rescued during the Nemesis adventure.
  • Fall From Grace, the group's trusty succubus paladin friend.
  • Bovina the cow lady. She's a lady minotaur, basically. Bovina is an NPC that I haven't used in a while and I thought that she'd ask to come just so we could put her in the spotlight a little bit.
The group used a portal to get to the River Styx through the plane of the Gray Waste. They sailed through magic fog which shifted them to the Abyss. The first layer they entered was Thanatos, Orcus' realm.

Thanatos

Terendelev the Ravener
In my campaign, Orcus is dead and the Pathfinder demon lord Lamashtu has taken it over. This place is what the devil army wants to overtake and claim for themselves. Secretly, the pit fiend general Drokkarn wants to rule it and become a demon lord himself. The idea is that this whole Blood War thing will culminate with the group fighting Lamashtu herself.

I busted out the extreme cold rules and the crew began gaining levels of exhaustion. There were chunks of Styx-ice in the water big enough to block the ship. Bidam used his breath weapon to melt them.

The group spotted ruins on the shore connected to Orcs. Since Bidam has a connection with Orcus (aka "Tenebrous"), they decided to check it out. It was home to an agent of Orcus - an undead dragon named Terendelev, from Wrath of the Righteous.

The thing I like most about her is that she's actually the corrupted undead remains of a good-aligned silver dragon..

The group made friends with her and she will be an ally for when the heroes and the devils try to overtake Thanatos down the road.

Shedaklah

The heroes sailed through the mist and appeared in Shedaklah, the home of both Zuggtmoy (demon queen of fungi) and Juiblex (demon lord of oozes).

The thing I like most about this is that the Styx is the border between the two domains. So on the left of the ship was a misty mushroom forest. On the right were fields of burbling slime pits.

The ship ended up sailing into what they thought was mist but was instead a spore cloud. The heroes made their saving throws, but the crew did not. They acolytes began to hallucinate, thinking that everyone else had "slime cysts" that oozes were erupting out of.

During the chaos, three creatures crept onto the ship: A gray ooze, an ochre jelly and a black pudding.

We had ourselves a combat. A lot of it was centered around the group trying to figure out what would hurt the different types of oozes. Bidam was in a bind, because the oozes are immune to slashing damage and when hit with slashing, they split into two.

The heroes ended up using chromatic orb spells to take out the oozes. During the battle, a few acolytes died.

Bovina the cow lady bravely took a mace and rolled really well through the whole encounter. The heroes were impressed!

Goranthis

Sister Perversion
Sailing on, the group came to Goranthis, the abyssal realm of Socothbenoth. I had thought that Socothbenoth was a Pathfinder creation but it turns out he was actually in a few D&D products first. I just combined the lore of both versions.

It actually says in the Dragon Magazine article that there are "pornographic waterfalls" here, because Socothbenoth is a demon lord of adult activities.

So that meant I was obligated to figure out what exactly pornographic waterfalls were. I concocted a series of challenges based on different types of genitalia. The best one was these penis cannons that shot sticky globs of webbing. Bidam had an awesome idea - use ice spells to freeze the cannons which obviously forces them to shrivel up due to the cold. Well done, adventurer!

On the shore, they spotted a brothel. This location is right out of Wrath of the Righteous. In that path, the group comes to the brothel to obtain a magic item. In this, I just figured the group might want to make a deal with them and expand their business empire.

The brothel is full of stuff I found amusing. The succubi and incubi who work there are known as "The Pleasers". Here's some of them:
  • Ismarelda: A dark-skinned contortionist.
  • Micajah: An androgynous red-skinned male with black, feathered wings.
  • Mahulda: A lavender-skinned soft-spoken hermaphrodite.
There's only 4 customers. I worked out a storyline where the brothel is struggling. I mean, you're in a plane of perversion, you probably don't have to pay for this kind of thing.

The group met with the owner of this place... SISTER PERVERSION. The names just crack me up. In the adventure, she's a type of Pathfinder monster known as a "seraptis demon." They are basically suicide-themed monsters.

I don't want suicide demons in my game, so I changed their gimmick. Now, the seraptis demons just want to hug you with their four arms and never let go.

The group made a deal with her. The heroes are going to set up a teleportation circle in Sigil to send the demons customers and share the profits.

This brothel uses souls as currency. So the heroes are going to go into the hive, find some evil scumbags (the hive is full of them) and send them and their souls to THE PLEASERS.

The Midnight Isles

Minagho, daughter of Baphomet

They sailed on and entered into The Midnight Isles, another Pathfinder location. The Midnight Isles are the home plane of Nocticula, a Pathfinder demon lord of succubi and assassins.

Each isle represents one of the twenty demon lords that Nocticula has assassinated.

The group was sailing along quite nicely when an evil pirate ship came into view. Its captain was Minagho, a daughter of the demon lord of minotaurs, Baphomet.

Minagho has a really cool backstory. She failed her father, and he has cursed her to be constantly in pain. She's trying to win back his favor to remove her curse.

We ran out of time, so that's where we stopped. Next session, we'll do this battle, and then the group will have to somehow rescue a prisoner from the palace of the Queen of the Succubi, Malcanthet.

Dungeons & Dragons - Wyrmsmere by Chris Perkins

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Wyrmsmere is an old 2nd edition Chris Perkins adventure from the Dragon Magazine Annual 1996. It is only 9 pages long and was very easy to prepare.

I heavily modified it. As written, Wyrmsmere is about how a band of NPC adventurers has gone bad. I changed it so that Wyrmsmere Castle is the home of a green dragon that the group needs to deal with. The NPC adventurers are victims in my version, not bad guys.

Prior to the game, I sent the group some maps. The castle map is one of those old isometric deals.
 

If you look at the map of the surrounding land, you might notice little islands below the castle. If the group goes there first, they theoretically will skip to the end of the adventure.

That always gives me the creeps. You DMs might say to yourself, "They probably won't notice it." But players always do things you don't expect! In these cases, I just remove any mention of the place I'm worried they will go to, and I might even just physically move it somewhere else in the region, too.

The thing about that is sometimes, if you leave it, you end up with a fun session and no harm done. It's a tough choice to make.

Zavagor couldn't make it this week so I whipped up a way to get him out of the forest.

The Key Ring

(Andrew) Finy Teetoe - Halfling Rogue
(Pat) Gurn Sirensong - Gnome Bard
(Ashley) Lemuel - Human Rogue
(Joe) Zavagor - Half-orc Warlock

The heroes had just summoned an angel of love and drove off Toxin, the green dragon. I immediately started running Aurora as someone who really wants to spread love and friendship throughout the land.

The group headed to Wyrmsmere Castle. It was on an island in a lake about 200 feet from the shore.

The heroes smartly scanned the water and spotted creatures swimming around in there. They got Aurora, the angel of love, to fly them over the water and successfully avoided the creatures.

Before the group tried to enter the castle, Aurora said that the heroes should  express their warm love and fondness for each other. Finy did so reluctantly. Gurn created an illusion of himself saying it, which cracked me up.

The heroes decided to climb up to the roof with rope and a grappling hook. All but Lemuel had made it to the roof when the doors of the castle burst open. Vegepygmies poured out, looking quite ready to murder.

Lemuel was on the rope halfway up. The vegepygmies threw spears at the poor guy and he took a bit of damage.

Lemuel scrambled up the rope to the roof. The vegepygmies ran back inside the castle and up a stairwell that led up to where the heroes were.

On the roof, there was a little shack with a door that lead to the stairwell. Finy heard the bad guys coming up and he quickly rigged up a trap so that his explosive bottle of dragon's breath (made from the remains of the flame dragon) would fall and explode.

It worked! Two mold men were completely incinerated.

The others came up the stairs moments later and a massive battle was had. The group was having problems, because the vegepygmies kept regenerating. A hero would drop one, and it would just get up the next round.

Lemuel realized that fire was the key to killing them for real and spread the word. One mold man got set on fire and Finy tried to dump oil on it, but he ended up pouring some on his leg. His pants caught fire!

Thinking quickly, the angel of love swooped down, took off his pants and threw them off the roof.  Finy spent a lot of the rest of the session questing for pants.

The mold men were slain. Lemuel was hurt badly. The angel of love got to use one of her powers: Chaste Kiss. She kisses you on the forehead and you heal 32 points plus other stuff.

The angels of love are from a 4e ecology of the succubus article. They are what the succubi were before they turned to evil. I love the idea of goody-two shoes love-spreaders, so I actually statted them up for 5e. They're basically a good version of a succubus with some converted 4e powers thrown in. Here it is:

The group commenced with exploring the castle.

Wyrmsmere Castle is odd. There's almost nothing in it. I think that if you write an adventure with a location like this, don't break up the rooms into many smaller entries. Just do one entry for the whole floor and note the three things that are in it.

The group came upon Pellerax, the wizard who had apparently stolen the potions of green dragon control. Now he was hurt badly, partly covered in mold, barely breathing.

The angel of love used her chaste kiss to heal him of his condition. Pellerax explained that the doppleganger Skargle was here, and that he'd used russet mold on him. Russet mold turns you into a vegepygmy. It's in Volo's Guide to Monsters, page 196.

Pellerax told the group the deal: The NPC adventurers stole the potions of green dragon control to try to defeat Toxin, the dragon who is plaguing the city. The group stole the potions from Aryzon (who is secretly a silver dragon) because they mistook his mysterious "wink, wink" nature as an indication of evil, not good. They thought he might be a secret ally of Toxin.

After some more searching, the group went down into the cellar. Pellerax said that he believed there was a tunnel there that lead to Toxin's lair.

In the cellar was a well and a halfling, who was a member of Pellerax's party. They'd gotten split up while battling a horde of mold men before the heroes arrived.

The halfling, Lucky, was lowering a rope into the well. The well was empty and the tunnel was at the bottom of it. After some chatting, Lucky urged the group to climb down. Lemuel began to climb, as did Pellerax. Finy and Gurn stopped... something was off.

They thought Lucky was a little too insistent on going last. They started to question him and Luck got nervous. The jig was up. The halfling suddenly grew and transformed. His pants exploded like the hulk. Lucky was quite upset, because he really could have used those pants.

Lucky revealed that he was actually Skargle the doppelganger.

Skargle CUT THE ROPE. Pellerax fell 100 feet and splatted in the tunnel. Lemuel made his save and grabbed onto a rock that was jutting out of the wall. He was hanging there, about 20 feet from the top of the well.

I think Lemuel climbed out of the well on his first or second turn.

The battle commenced. Skargle smashed a jar on the ground and a spore cloud enveloped the heroes. Russet mold!

They had to save every round, or be poisoned and take damage. If they died from it, they'd become vegepygmies in 24 hours.

A few of the heroes failed their saves, but shook the poison off after a few rounds. They stabbed Skargle a few times and then Finy shoved him into the well!

Skargle grabbed onto the side of the wall in the well. Finy dumped oil on Skargle and lit him on fire. Poor Skargle. He died, but his death grip kept him right where was, hanging on the side of the well.

The group climbed down the well into the tunnel. They saw that poor Pellerax was 100% dead. They headed down a slippery, muddy slope for a few hundred feet. They came upon a room with a pool of water. On the wall, somebody had scrawled "Beware the fish."


The adventurers saw no creatures or fish in the water at all. They cautiously swam in the water to the exit on the other side of the room. Nothing happened.

The group came to a split. There were three tunnels heading off into three different directions. They took the left one, which led them to an extremely dark cave. Finy cautiously lit his lantern and crept ever so slowly into the cave. Lemuel followed.

The room lit up. The walls of the cave were lined with... Russet mold! That's where we stopped.

I'm not sure if I can convey it in writing, but this might have been my favorite session so far. The players had me laughing for the better part of two hours. The exploding pants, the illusions of hugs, their banter with the angel, it was hilarious.

We should wrap up this adventure next week!

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 40 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 40: Big Yak Attack
As we get ready to start, the players warn us that Chris has been smiling to himself and seems especially mischievous today.


Don't forget that the new adventure, Tales From the Yawning Portal, comes out in a few days. I imagine we'll see the crew do some stuff from that book. I would love to witness the Waffle Crew going through the Tomb of Horrors.

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Joe) Harshnag - Frost Giant
(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

Chris sums up the story: Harshnag the frost giant led the party to the Icespire mountains. The heroes went up a staircase carved into a mountainside. They fought a chimera aka a Snorse (somebody made Snorse art, awesome) Between the group and the fire giant lair was a village of yikaria aka yakfolk.

The group tried to sneak through the yakfolk village by having Harshnag and Krak make a distraction. As they were about to cross the village, they saw two yakfolk beating slaves to death. Plans have changed! The group springs into action.

Strix drops a fireball on the bad guys and then she teleports onto a roof, but it's made of straw! he falls through the roof with Waffles, the baby owlbear, and lands in a pile of baskets. She’s in the chief’s hut.

Paultin gets hit by some arrows. A yak tries to hit Diath with some sort of banishment spell but he makes his save.

A yakfolk summons an earth elemental... yikes. It's coming for Diath.

Meanwhile, in the hut, Strix sees three naked elves. There are two males and one female. The males help her up. Jared points out that everything is coming up Strix.

The female elf, Halani, asks if she's come to rescue them. Strix says yes. Stirx decides to give them a task. She wants them to put on some clothes and go set some fires.

Chris refers to the yikaria bad guys as "Beef men" which cracks me up. Paultin casts crown of madness on the chief and it works! The chief turns against the other yakfolk.

Harshnag throws a spear at the water wheel. Natural 20! The wheel collapses and falls down the mountain, making a lot of noise. This is a whole thing in the published adventure.

Strix climbs out of the hut and.. falls again. She's outside. She fires a magic missile that kills one of the yakpeople.

The earth elemental melds into the ground. The group gets real nervous.

A yakfolk summons a floating weapon which begins to pound on Strix. The group is quite dismayed at the excessive spellcasting on display here.

Wow.. Paultin uses thunderwave to send SEVEN yakfolk falling over the cliff to their doom. Only the chief made his save.. and his crown of madness is gone.

Strix dispels the hovering magic weapon. The yakfolk caster shakes her fist ruefully at Strix. Suddenly, the earth elemental pops up out of the ground next to her. It pummels Strix and drops her. Poor little Waffles runs! He's running toward Paultin.

The priestess summons another spiritual weapon. It appears above Paultin. He’s got problems, because the chief draws his greatsword, which magically bursts into flame! Paultin takes a total of 35 points of damage! He's down.

Paultin had earlier tasked Simon with killing him some yaks. When he sees Paultin go down, he defies the orders and rushes over to him. Simon fires off a dart that kills the chief!

Evelyn casts command on the priestess and Anna tells her to FLEE in a way that makes me laugh. Priestess rolls a one on her save.

Diath spots some halflings wearing nothing more than grass skirts. Diath yells at them to beat up the priestess. They do so and are quite effective.

The earth elemental comes after Simon. The group is freaking out, except for Jared, who hates him. Simon gets squashed! Wow. Jared can't stop laughing. The other players are severely distressed.

Harshnag’s giant bird had grabbed Paultin and is flying him around, keeping him out of harm’s way. Paultin actually rolls a 20 on his death save and immediately awakens with one hit point. He sees that Simon has literally been crushed.

Diath drops the priestess. The group is very displeased to see that the earth elemental did not vanish when she died.

The elemental beats on Harshnag. He goes down! As he drops, Harshnag tries to grab the elemental and throw it over the side.. but in the struggle, both of them fall over the side and vanish into the waterfall chasm.

Paultin investigates the remains of Simon. Is Simon salvageable? He rolls an intelligence check. Natural one. He thinks Simon is gone forever. Paultin angrily mutters, "Diath will pay for this."

Poor Strix is still dying while the group gawks at Murderbot's remains.

Fight is over. Evelyn heals Strix. Paultin yells at Diath and asks him if he thinks it's funny. That's where we stop.

Nate won't be here next week. Jared laughs and says he might just take the remains of Murderbot and get rid of the evil mannequin for good.

Overall

Good show as always! This was one long battle but it never dragged. Things were constantly happening and it was funny the whole way through.

Are their characters going all the way to 20th level? I hope so. I know a lot of groups never get that high, I think it would be very cool to see. Strix will have so many awesome spells, it boggles the mind.




Planescape: Blood War V. The Palace of Flesh and Delights

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This image above is a new art commission I got of Bidam. His sword of sharpness is a "buster sword" - it got enlarged during one of their trips to Limbo. I should have a new Theran by next week. I want a piece of art depicting him where his robe of eyes is actually a tracksuit.

Last night in the Planescape campaign, the heroes went to the abyssal realm of Malcanthet, queen of the succubi.

If you look online, you'll see there really isn't that much published information on her. I found three useful sources:
  • Fiendish Codex: This gives a nice overview of everything, especially her realm, Shendilavri.
  • Dragon Magazine 353: This has one of those fantastic James Jacobs articles that pours on the detail and uses all sorts of colorful phrases.
  • Dungeon Magazine #149: I am starting to think that "Enemies of my Enemy" is one of the greatest D&D adventures of all time. In it, the heroes travel the planes recruiting allies to participate in the final battle with Demogorgon. One section deals with Malcanthet, which gave me the most useful actual details that I could use in play.
The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard  

We had left off last time in the Midnight Isles, the demonic realm of Nocticula, assassin of demon lords.

Minagho

A pirate ship captained by Minagho, daughter of Baphomet, had attacked the heroes. We had a really cool battle (I love pirates and ships in D&D). I had written out a plan for Minagho, which I need to do in order to run spellcasters effectively. The plan:
  • Round 1: She casts arcane gate and teleports 8 of her "husks" over to the ship of the heroes.
  • Round 2: Cast crown of madness and take control of Bidam (!). That's scary because Bidam does insane piles of damage.
  • Round 3: Use telekinesis to send a hero hurtling overboard into the Styx!
The arcane gate went fine. Bidam made his save against the crown AND he ducked her attempt to telekinetically chuck a thing at Bidam to knock him into the water.

The group had brought a weak NPC with them on this adventure. She is a cow-lady. This freaking cow lady rolls high constantly! Last session, she pounded on some oozes. This time, she cracked a husk in the head and then, she aimed the ballista at Minagho and fired. She rolled a natural 20!

The bolt went right into Minagho's chest and blood poured out of her mouth. The group sailed close. Bidam did the classic "pirate swing onto the enemy ship" maneuver and cut her head off.

Minagho vanished in a puff. The group realized she had a demon amulet and had likely reformed somewhere else in the Abyss. I’m going to be running the Wrath of the Righteous adventure where the heroes will go through Baphomet’s maze, so this is a link to that.

It was an awesome fight. I'm not sure what to do with the cow lady. I should probably give her a new stat block as she'd have 'gained a level' by now.

Rivenheart 

The group sailed on. The heroes had come to Shendilavri to rescue a devil spy, an incubus named Cavus. It turns out that he was being held in a prison right in Malcanthet's palace.

The heroes sailed the River Styx and came to Rivenheart, the main city of Shendilavri. The heroes were accompanied by Fall From Grace, the succubus paladin who is the granddaughter of Malcanthet.

Rivenheart is a demonic city that succubi bring mortals to. The mortals live a life of debauchery, sometimes for decades. Eventually, they become corrupted, a succubi kills them, and the energy of the slain transfers to Malcanthet and empower her.

There aren't a lot of actual details on Rivenheart, so I had to make a bunch of stuff up. I created a bunch of perverted joke locations because that's how we roll.

Some of the locations:
  • A D&D strip club called the "Museum of Carnal Pleasure."
  • A community pool
  • Sunbathing succubi (using light spells as the "sun")
  • People openly selling mordayan vapor, a 3rd edition drug.
Mordayan Vapor aka "Dreammist": If you ingest the actual leaves/powder you die, as it is too potent. You have to boil it and breathe in the mist. It give you beautiful visions that last for about 30 minutes. When you come down, normal life seems drab and futile in comparison.

Bidam bought some, but did not inhale.

I made a list of the creatures that live in Rivenheart: Succubi, lamias, harpies, cambions, alu-demons, "half-fiend nymphs", and "mortal adulterers".

The mortal adulterers are right out of the James Jacobs article, and as soon as I read it, I envisioned a stat block of a Mortal Adulterer. What kind of powers would they have? "Work late"? "Gaslight”?

I also threw in a wet t-shirt contest because my campaign is really stupid.

Exploring the City

The heroes began to explore the city, and George threw me a curveball. Most of the time he's very straight-laced, but every now and then he kicks it up a notch. I had this married woman, yes - a Mortal Adulterer! - come on to him. He went right along with it. All the way! Shocked, was I.

Her husband, also a Mortal Adulterer, burst into the room and got violent. Theran mage-handed the guy's groin and made a heroic escape.

While Theran was off adulterating, Bidam saw some sunbathing succubi who needed oil. Bidam oiled them up but did not succumb to their feminine wiles. He is loyal to his wife, the demon lord Bazuuma.

The group reunited and realized that they were being followed by a harpy. They accosted her, and found out that the harpy was actually an angel of love in disguise.

Her name: Bella Pureheart. "Of course it is," said George.

I have this whole complicated storyline going involving the angel being a spy trying to do good. Fall From Grace was actually imprisoned here a while back and the angel helped break her out.

The angel of love said she would watch their backs. The group headed to Malcanthet's home: The Palace of Flesh and Delight.

The Palace of Flesh and Delight

Malcanthet, Demon Queen of Succubi

All are welcome here, especially mortals. They're like lambs to the slaughter. As the group quietly made their way through the place, they spotted some goings-on right out of the James Jacobs article:
A succubus kissed a half-elf, whose hair turned gray as he shriveled up and died. In another area, three cambions were putting the moves on an elf.

The adventurers tried to creep by Malcanthet's throne room, but a succubus spotted them and charmed Bidam. Theran tried to give Bidam another chance to make the saving throw by punching him.

Violence is forbidden here without Malcanthet's express written consent. As soon as the punch was thrown, they were noticed.

Malcanthet's throne room:
  • Malcanthet reclines on a divan made of caressing human arms and hands.
  • All around her are demons and mortals getting to know each other better.
  • Three succubi and a dozen vrocks were actually eating people among the throng.
Malcanthet beckoned to the heroes.

As the group awkwardly stepped over the naked people, succubi grabbed at their legs. One was able to give Bidam a kiss, doing a cool 32 points of damage to him.

Malcanthet summoned elevated chairs made of hands and arms for them to sit on.

This scene is right out of Dungeon Magazine 149. She has all this dialogue and flavor text.

I finally got to reveal something to the players. Long ago, they had an adventure where they explored Grazz't's palace. They didn't know it, but during that scenario they interacted with a spy of Malcanthet.

The spy has been keeping tabs on the group since then. Malcanthet knows all about them. She knows the group works with the devils and assumed they had come to try to free the devil spy.

Malcanthet has special agents known as the Radiant Sisters. There are 13 of them, each of which wears a halo of a different color. In the Dungeon Magazine adventure, Malcanthet asks the group to take out a radiant sister who's been causing her problems.

For my adventure, I had Malcanthet make them a different deal. The group could have the spy if they agreed to steal something from Lilith, the archdevil sort-of consort to Baalzebul.

Origin of Malcanthet: Malcanthet and Lilith hate each other. Back when they were angels, Asmodeus got them to join his rebellion by giving them the impression that one of them would be his consort. They joined him, and neither one of them became his consort. He chose Bensozia instead.

Both angels were extremely bitter. Lilith ended up embracing apathy and lived in the Nine Hells with the vile devil/slug, Baalzebul.

Malcanthet ended up going to the Abyss, becoming a demon and getting involved in the War of Ripe Flesh, a vicious battle among the succubi to determine who would be the succubus queen. Malcanthet won.

In my campaign, the Pathfinder demon lord Nocticula is gunning for Malcanthet, but that hasn't really come into play yet.

The group makes the deal. To seal it, they had to do something out of the Dungeon Magazine adventure. Bidam had to kiss her. Theran can't do it because as an elf, he's immune to charm. Bidam took 64 points of damage! He almost died.

Malcanthet's symbol appeared as a tattoo on his scales. With it, Malcanthet can scry on him and telepathically communicate with him. She will use this to instruct the group on what to do when they visit Lilith in hell.

The Prison

They go down into the prison and gawk at the other prisoners I made up - joke NPCs who did gross things to get arrested.

They saw their devil spy, the incubus Cavus. A radiant sister was in the cell with him, trying to convince him to defect to the side of the demons.

There was one other cell. In it was Red Shroud, mother of Fall From Grace. About 15 sessions ago, she had attempted to assassinate Bazuuma and my Donald Trump NPC, but failed. She's being punished for her failure.

Fall From Grace insisted that her mother be saved. Bidam pointed out that Red Shroud was evil (she had actually sold Fall From Grace as a baby to the devils!). Fall From Grace is lawful good and couldn't bear to see her mother in chains.

So the group ended up fighting the radiant sister, who is a lilitu. I made lilitu stats. I need to fix them, as the damage is way too low. It should be 9 instead of 5.


The radiant sister is a bit different from a normal lilitu. She's a demon, she has a halo that can blind a target, and she has a magic heart-shaped container that she can hold a prisoner in.

The heroes kicked the crap out of her. A few sessions back, they got pummeled by one vrock, so I assumed this would be difficult. It was not! Bidam teed off with his sword of sharpness and then Theran disintegrated her.

The radiant sister was reduced to a pile of ash. Her halo hit the ground. When one radiant sister is slain, another lillitu can take the halo and replace the dead one.

The group decided to take it. They're going to bring it to Sigil and destroy it.

The heroes escaped with the spy and Red Shroud, who was semi-conscious.

Very good session!

Next time, they'll recover in Sigil and then lead the devil army in a charge to fully take Lamashtu's demonic realm of Onstrakkar's Nest.

Dungeons & Dragons - The Hall of Final Fate

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Kyrin, Cleric of the Raven Queen
I commissioned artwork of the heroes in this group. I'm waiting on Val to be finished and then we'll have a complete set.
Val couldn't make it today, so I got Jesse to jump in. Jessie plays Bidam in my Planescape campaign.

Crossovers: One of the things I enjoy most in D&D is when I have two separate D&D groups, and one player "crosses over" to the other for one session. For me, it's like having Batman show up in an Avengers movie.

This is one of the things I am looking forward to doing once the youtube shows start. I can spend time and establish the two groups, and then down the road have them meet in some way. I think it will be awesome.

On Saturday, we finished the Chained Coffin. Once it was done, we jumped material from Tales From the Yawning Portal. I got it the other day, and one of the adventures in it is Dead in Thay. I ran that a few years ago and I really liked it. I wasn't able to use all of the rooms I wanted to. Tonight, I got to grab some rooms from the Ooze Gtrotto, and it was pretty awesome.

The Party

Kyrin - Human Cleric of the Raven Queen
Mistletoe - Human Druid
Ramrod - Goliath Barbarian
Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter

So there Bidam was, sailing on the River Styx. In one old Dragon Magazine it says that the Styx has fog that might teleport you to a random plane. So.. there you go. They sail through the fog, Bidam disappears from the ship and appears in the Luhsaal Wheel.

Bidam is 12th level and this group is level 3. I thought about it, and I figured that the best way to balance things was to have Bidam appear without his equipment. All he on had on him was pants. No sword of sharpness, no armor of invulnerability.

The Luhsaal Wheel
Ramrod, Goliath Barbarian

We left off last time with a giant-sized champion of Demogorgon about to attack the group. The spirit in the chained coffin had entered Kyrin's body and grew him so he was 20 feet tall!

There were also minor demons here as well: dretches and a maw demon.

The first thing Kyrin did was to kick Ramrod, because Ramrod had been teasing the chained coffin a lot the last two sessions.

Mistletoe tossed Bidam a dagger and cast spike growth on the demons, decimating them. Ramrod climbed up Kyrin and jumped at Boak, the champion of Demogorgon. He tried to grab the fur on Boak's face, but failed his check! He was able to grab onto Boak's crotch area to stop his fall. He proceeded to pull out his javelin and stab Boak repeatedly in the groin.

Kyrin summoned a gigantic magic scythe and sliced into Boak. The heroes beat down the bad guys pretty badly.

When it was over, ravens came down from the sky. The ravens swarmed the group, teleporting them to the Shadowfell.

The Hall of Final Fate

Vorkhesis, Master of Fate

They found themselves in the Hall of Final Fate, home of Vorkhesis, Master of Fate. The hovering souls of Boak and Zugun were here, too. No sign of Val, who had vanished during the battle.

I love Vorkhesis and I've waited a long time to use him. I plan on making him a big thing in this campaign.

Vorkhesis handles rogue souls for his mother, the Raven Queen. He transformed the soul of Boak into a raven statue, as punishment for his betrayal. He sent Zugun, the spirit who had been trapped in the chained coffin, off to be judged by the Raven Queen.

Once the souls had been dealt with, Vorkhesis examined the heroes with his empty eye sockets. He clearly had a problem with Kyrin, who had been specially blessed by the Raven Queen. She had placed tattoos on his body of people she wanted him to kill.

Vorkhesis demanded to see the tattoos and Kyrin obliged him. The biggest tattoo on Kyrin’s whole body was of Vorkhesis himself. Vorkhesis turned and quaked with rage. His own mother wanted him dead!

He decided to test Kyrin to see if he was really worthy of this honor. Vorkhesis indicated that if Kyrin failed, he would be the new resident of the Chained Coffin.

Vorkhesis explained that villains on a far flung world had abducted priests of the Raven Queen. There was one cleric in particular that needed saving - she was a Grim Censer-Bearer That comes from a 4th edition article that describes different types of agents of the Raven Queen. I LOVE saying "Grim Censer-Bearer" so I plan on using these guys whenever possible.

Vorkhesis raven-teleported the group to a dungeon. Someone lit a torch, and Bidam introduced himself to the heroes. Jessie and I bring out the raunchy humor in each other and I was a little worried that we might offend somebody, but we kept it pretty tame and the group seemed fine with it.

The Ooze Grotto

Mistletoe, Human Druid
The group was in the ooze grotto, a series of ooze-themed dungeon rooms. A massive white pillar of slime was in the center of the room. It issued forth maddening telepathic whispers. The group didn't know that three priests of the Raven Queen had been forced to merge with this thing.

This pillar, known as the White Maw, actually encompasses the whole room. It blocked off the only exit and advanced on the heroes.

They hacked into it and saw that its acidic nature damaged their weapons and armor.

There was a point in this battle where the White Maw engulfed everyone but Kyrin. Bidam and Ramrod’s clothes sizzled off. Mistletoe asked if his did, too. I decided to roll for it.

In general, I go by the Gary Gygax rule - when I don't have an answer for a non-essential question, I roll a die. High is good, low is bad. I rolled to see if Mistletoe's crown of Mistletoe was destroyed. Natural 20! Not only was it intact, it had grown an extra berry!

What about his kilt? I rolled again. NATURAL 20! Misteltoe's kilt was actually cleaned by the White Maw. It would seem that his patron Gwyharwyf herself has blessed his clothing.

Ramrod and Bidam emerged from the pillar butt-naked. Jesse pointed out that Bidam's mighty dong was swinging around.

The White Maw was defeated. The heroes entered the next room, which contained a red ooze pillar. Embedded in it was a guy called the OOZE MASTER. He was behind this whole merge-with-oozes scheme.

The Ooze Master believed that oozes lived forever, and that if he merged with one, he would live forever as well. I think he's right, but he's crazy and evil. He closed in on the adventurers and they kicked the crap out of him. He was heading right for the wall. The group worried that he was going to merge into the wall and get away. They finished him off before that could happen.

The Cat Cube: The next room is actually a combination of two rooms from Dead in Thay. Apprentices were in here, throwing cats into an arch of blades which chopped up the poor cats. The bad guys had been using the cats to perfect the ooze-merging process. Now that they had perfected it, the cats were no longer needed.

The group burst into the room. They noticed giant mirrors on the walls. The acolytes were terrified of the heroes and tried to lie their way out of it. One of them tried to trick the group into getting close to a mirror.

It backfired. The group forced an acolyte to approach a mirror. He reluctantly did so, and a specter reached out of the mirror and killed him.

During all of this, Misteltoe used his ability to talk to animals on the cats. These poor creatures were traumatized. They'd seen terrible things. They told Mistletoe that one cat had actually merged with a gelatinous cube. I call it: The Cat Cube.

The group decided that the cats should get to have street justice on the acolytes. The cats killed the acolytes, but they found that revenge was hollow. It couldn't undo what had been done. But at least they were free!

The heroes moved on, and found the object of their quest - The GRIM CENSER BEARER! She was covered in plate mail and.. engulfed in a big Gelatinous cube.

Nearby was a tiny cube. It turned and looked at the heroes, then at the cube. Mistletoe used shis druidic ability to speak with animals and told the Cat Cube that everything was OK. The cat cube slid over to him and did that cat thing where it rubbed against his legs. The group was worried that he would take acid damage, but it just stung a little. The cat cube is quite weak.

One of the heroes ran up and pulled the grim censer-bearer out of the big cube. The heroes mauled this cube, as it had already been injured by the censer-bearer.

Once it had been destroyed, the Grim Censer-Bearer took off her helmet. She was a beautiful goliath with long, flowing green hair. She looked at Ramrod and Kyrin, smiled, and was about to speak... then the ravens swarmed and drew the heroes back to the Hall Of Final Fate.

Ramrod was really annoyed about that. With a wave of his hand, Vorkhesis sent Bidam back from whence he came.

Vorkhesis prepared to address the adventurers a second time... that's where we stopped.

It was a lot of fun! These groups make me laugh. It makes the games easy to run.

I like how Chris Perkins works character stories into his sessions, something that I've been really bad at historically. I've definitely worked in Kyrin’s story, and I think can handle the others in a similar fashion.

Dungeons & Dragons - A Guide to Tales From the Yawning Portal

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This guide will hopefully help DMs prepare and flesh out the adventures in Tales From the Yawning Portal. This is a work in progress. For the next week or two I'll be adding to the guide as I read through the adventure.

If you have any links pertaining to this book, such as DMs Guild products - maps for white plume, etc, feel free to send them to me and I'll add them to the list.

Links

Buy Tales From the Yawning Portal here.

You can buy the Mike Schley maps of the Citadel, Tamoachan and Thay right here.

The 4e Against the Giants has really great Mike Schley maps.

Steading of the Hill Giant Chief
Warrens of the Stone Giant Thane - A new adventure in the series by Chris Perkins!
Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl
Hall of the Fire Giant King

Undermountain Products:

Expedition to Undermountain
Halaster's Lost Apprentice
The Halls of Undermountain

List of Adventures by Level

This is the level each character should be when they start the adventure.
  • (lvl 1) The Sunless Citadel
  • (lvl 3) Forge of Fury
  • (lvl 5) Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan
  • (lvl 8) White Plume Mountain
  • (lvl 9) Dead in Thay
  • (lvl 11) Against the Giants
  • ("high level") Tomb of Horrors
It doesn't give a level for Tomb of Horrors. It says: "Only high level characters stand a chance of surviving..."

Adventure Anthology

Unlike the other adventure books, this one doesn't have a single, long story line. This is a collection of classic D&D adventures updated to 5th edition rules.

You could link them together. It might take a bit of work, but we can make that happen.

Undermountain: It might be fun to try to place these adventures in Undermountain, the mega-dungeon connected to the Yawning Portal. That way, your group can stay at the Yawning Portal and we can make a whole campaign out of this.

Dungeon Crawl-y: Just keep in mind that most of these adventures are dungeon crawls. There's not a lot of roleplaying and social interaction. They’re pretty linear. There is a lot of wackiness and puzzle-solving, which is a lot of fun.

Character Backgrounds

Linking characters to things in the adventures can get the players more into it. I’ll add to this list as we go through the book.

Downshadow: The character lived or grew up in the poverty-stricken shanty town of Downshadow, a community of vagabonds actually located in Undermountain.

Prisoners/Friends: In the Forge of Fury, there are two captives, Geradil and Courana on page 39-40. It says they're from a town near Blasingdell, but you could say they're from wherever you want if you want to link them to the group somehow.

(page 5) Introduction - The Yawning Portal



The book starts off with a few pages about the tavern known as The Yawning Portal.

There is a great, detailed Yawning Portal page from 3rd edition right here.

And then there's really great, official flavor for going down the well and graffiti you might find down there right here.

The Forgotten Realms Wiki has a very nice summary of the details in the Yawning Portal. It looks like they haven't updated it to the newer editions, but it gives you a nice starting point.

Essential Information: There's a few main details to know:
  • Dungeon Entrance: This inn contains a 40-foot wide well with a low wall inside the main tavern. The well leads to the legendary dungeon of Undermountain.
  • Immortal Owner: The bartender/owner is a retired adventurer named Durnan who has lived for hundreds of years. He was one of the first people to explore Undermountain and survive.
  • Entrance Fee: The heroes will be charged 1 gp each to be lowered into the well. They will also be charged 1 gp each to come out. Durnan will not let people up if they don't pay.
How Deep is the Well? 140 feet. If you fall, that's 14d6. Not good!

Getting Lowered Down: There is a large winch-and-pulley contraption that controls a thick rope with stirrups. The adventurers put their feet in the stirrups and are lowered down.

Getting Out: A bucket will be lowered down. The heroes must put their gold in it before they will be let up.

Patrons Gamble on You: The people in the bar like to bet on whether or not adventurers will survive. When someone pays to enter the well, the patrons cheer, share rounds of drinks and give the adventurers a going-away party.

Secret Entrance: There's actually another means of entry into Undermountain in the cellar of the Yawning Portal. It is a steeply-sloping hallway that leads to a cistern, a staircase, and a well shaft that has its own bucket, winch and rope. Durnan himself doesn't know it is there.

Map: There is a sweet poster map of the Yawning Portal that comes with the 4e Halls of Undermountain book. It’s on amazon now for $15. I think it is worth it if you’re going to use the inn a lot.

There is some great flavor text describing the tavern in Halaster's Lost Apprentice that you can use:

“The warm atmosphere of the Yawning Portal tavern offers a blessed relief from the bitter winter chill outside. Here, pipesmoke and the scent of spiced wine mingle with dozens of dialogues bleeding into one, while the snowy world lies trapped outside the heavily fogged glass.

In the midst of the folk talking and dancing is a wide circular well lit by everburning torches: the eponymous Yawning Portal, which, the legend holds, is an entrance to Undermountain, the legendary dungeon.

Intent on adventure—whether for sheer thrills or for matters material and financial—you settle into the smoky common room, looking about for a wealthy patron or a rumor of treasure to be found.”

There is also flavor text for being lowered down into the well:

“The staff of the Yawning Portal straps you one-by-one into a harness attached to a winch and pulley, then lowers you through the great well into the gloom of Downshadow, the shallowest depth of Undermountain. You journey down, trying hard not to think too much about the creaking old leather or the straining ropes.

Finally, it is over and your feet touch cool, wet stone. Before nerves can get the better of you, you wrench the harnesses free and tug on the ropes to signal them to be raised.

NPCs: I dug up some NPCs from old products you can use to flesh out the tavern.

Durnan the Sixth: Descendant of Durnan. He is practical and doesn't tolerate violence.
Kelsie: Durnan the Sixth's wife. She is a "pleasant-faced woman" whose mother was a cook at the Yawning Protal.
Kids: They have 9 kids, the oldest of which is Durnan the Seventh.

Endroth Knag: Member of the city watch being pressured to retire. He ponders unresolved cases as he sips ale.

The White Lady: An elderly elf wearing plain white robes. She comes in every night and whispers cryptic statements over and over. 

Brother Sepulcher: A bald priest who wears grey robes and long, white gloves who likes to stare at a skull he keeps with him. He worships Jergal, the exarch of proper burial. Brother Sepulcher likes to record the name and description of each person who enters Undermountain.

Old Stannoc: An elderly halfling who is a gambler and odds maker. He tries to evaluate each adventurer before they go down so he can set proper odds.

Downshadow: There is actually a community of people who live in Undermountain. They are "coin-shy" and down on their luck. They have a shanty town of about 200 people.

There are some shady people down there, including a doppleganger and thugs who keep a pet giant scorpion on a chain.

(page 9) Chapter 1 - The Sunless Citadel


The story goes like this:
  • The Gulthias Tree creates two apples per year: One heals, and one kills.
  • The tree is in a ruined place called The Sunless Citadel.
  • To get to it, the group has to pass through an area where kobolds and goblins are at war.
  • The heroes find the hidden grove and must deal with the Gulthias Tree, which is evil and producing evil creatures..
Mapping: The adventure suggests having a player draw a map as they play, listening to your descriptions. I have never seen this done well. I'm not saying it can't be done, I'm just saying it is hard.

It slows the game down in a big way and it is very hard to describe certain areas. It can be frustrating if the player gets confused and the map gets all messed up.

You might want to pre-make a player's map that doesn't show secret doors or anything like that. You can cut it up into pieces or cover it with something and reveal it to the players as they explore.

Origin of Gulthias: Gulthias was a vampire. There's a nice summation of his backstory on page 31 of the monster manual.

(50 gp) The Magic Apple: A red apple of perfect hue. It heals those who suffer from any disease or other ailment.

Gaining Levels: The group will probably hit 2nd and 3rd level during this adventure. You should think about whether you want them to "ding" and immediately hit next level, or whether you want them to rest or even go back to Oakhurst in order for them to gain the level.

Marching Order: Make sure you know the marching order - how the group is aligned when they explore. You'll need to know who's in front, who's in back, that kind of thing. This place is loaded with pressure plates and pit traps.

You might want to write down the passive perception scores so you won't tip your players off when there's something in the area worth perceiving.

Random Encounters: Once the group hits rooms 13 and up, you roll on a random encounter chart every 12 hours in the game. You might want to just pick the monsters off of the list ahead of time so you're ready to go at the table.

This book only uses Monster Manual kobolds. You might want to switch in some Volo's kobolds (Volo's pg 165-167), as they seem like a lot of fun.

The Lost Adventuring Party

This adventure involves another adventuring party who went in and never came out. I made a list of their names and what happened to them:
  • Karakas the Ranger (pg 21) Killed by rats
  • Talgyn (pg 25) Killed by Durnn the hobgoblin
  • Sharwyn (pg 30, stats pg 242) Controlled by Belak
  • Sir Braford (pg 30, stats pg 243) Controlled by Belak
Resting: If the heroes rest in the citadel, the monsters move around and reinforce cleared rooms. You might want to note the important rooms that they'd want guarded ahead of time.

Treasure: Each kobold and goblin has 2d10 silver. You could just say it's 10 silver to speed things up.

Ambush at Night: On their way to the citadel, if the heroes rest for the night, they'll be attacked by twig blights (MM page 32).

Dwarven Graffiti: You might want to come up with some amusing dwarven graffiti. This page has some awesome dwarven sayings.

You could probably use:
  • "Evil breeds in the guts of the lazy."
  • "It is easy to fool a goblin, but even easier to kill one."
Descending the Rope: No check!


1. Ledge (page 12): This is all the way at the top of the map on page 13.
Giant Rats: MM page 327.

3. Crumbled Courtyard (page 12)
: The heroes need to walk over rubble. Dex save DC 10, if they fail by 5 or more they fall in to a little cavity/pit. No damage. Climbing out is a DC 10 STR (Athletics).

The noise has a 10% chance of attracting more giant rats. I would say just use common sense instead of rolling. If they're loud, the rats come.

On top of that, there is an actual pit trap. The hero will just fall in unless they have a passive Perception of 15 or more. They don't give a DC for getting out. Maybe they can't get out without help? The trap door shuts after one minute!

4. Tower Shell (page 13): There's a hard-to-find secret door here that's trapped with a needle. No save! Needle does 1 damage.

The graffiti mentions Ashardalon. Ashardalon is a massive red dragon who is the main bad guy at the end of the adventure path that was part of in 3rd edition. You might want to change the bad guy to someone that makes sense for your campaign world.

5. Secret Pocket (page 13): 3 skeletons (MM pg 272).

6. Old Approach (page 14): A keyhole in the mouth of a dragon statue on a door. Arcane lock (PH pg 215) is cast on it. To open this door, you must use a knock spell or make a DC 30 STR (Athletics).

The key to this thing is in the mouth of another dragon carving in area 21.

7. Gallery of Forlorn Notes (page 14): When the group gets in here, make sure you know where they are positioned. You'll want to know how close to the door they are when the charm hits.

This thing sends you running back to area 3, probably into the pit trap. If you look at the map, PCs who have a speed of 30 can almost make it there in one round. The rubble in 4 might actually save them.

8. Pressure Plate (page 14): This trap will go off every time the plate is stepped on! +5 to hit, 5 (d10) piercing.

9. Dragon Riddle (page 14): Answering the riddle opens the secret door. The heroes might find the secret door, but there is no other way to open it.

10. Honor Guard (page 15): Little tracks lead to an open, obvious spiked pit. Falling in causes a total of 2d10 piercing and d6 falling. Jot the quasit (MM page 63) is lurking nearby.

You could have Jot be invisible, and wait for the heroes to look in the pit. Then he could his scare power to frighten them, and you might rule that heroes at the edge of the pit must make a Dex save or fall in.

Remember, Jot wants to be attacked by 2+ people or be hit once so he'll be free of his magical binding. He might lurk nearby and heckle the group as they explore if that sounds fun to you.

If the group doesn't attack him for some reason, he could cut them a deal. He'll tell them about the secret door to 12 if they will hit him one time (and only once!).

11. Secret Room (page 15): The crawlspace is a really amusing/scary time for an unbound Jot to cause mischief.

12. Tomb of a Failed Dragonpriest: If the group opens this thing, they're facing a weakened version of a troll (MM pg 291): AC 15 HP 30 +7 to hit 11 (2d6+4) slashing dmg. Regen 5 at start of its turn. Acid/fire shuts this down. Acid or fire must be used to kill it for good.

Scrolls (DMG pg 199-200): If the spell is on your class list, you can cast it. If it's higher lever than you can cast, you must make an ability check DC 10+spell's level.

I used the chart on DMG pg 200 to figure out the bonus to hit and DC:
  • Command (PH pg 223): DC 13
  • Cure Wounds lvl 2 (PH pg 230): 2d8 + spellcasting modifier.
  • Inflict Wounds lvl 2 (PH pg 230): +5 to hit, Hit: 4d10 necrotic! Not too shabby.
  • Guiding Bolt lvl 2 (PH pg 248): rg 120, +5 to hit. Hit: 5d6 radiant and the next attack against the target has advantage.
14. Enchanted Water Cache (page 16): Ice mephit (MM page 215), steam mephit (MM page 217)

15. Dragon Cell (page 16): Meepo the kobold (MM page 195) was in charge of a white dragon wyrmling named Calcryx, but the goblins stole it. Meepo is quite distraught over this.

Meepo is a very famous D&D NPC. People play him a lot of different ways. It seems like a lot of times, he ends up as a sidekick to the heroes.

16. Kobold Guardroom (page 17): The door is trapped and is very easy to spot (DC 10 perception). It is likely the group will spot it with passive perception. The wire is on the other side, and when set off it drops a bucket of dragon poop that will actually poison you for a minute. Poisoned = disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks.

There's 3 kobolds (MM page 195) in here. If Meepo is with the group, he can just yell "Ticklecorn," the kobold safe word.

17. Dragon Chow (page 17): Swarm of rats (MM page 339)

18. Prison (page 18): Four goblin (MM page 166) prisoners. These things will beg to be free and are quite treacherous.

19. Hall of Dragons (page 18): If the group doesn't Ticklecorn their way through, we have a tough fight here:
  • 3 kobolds (MM page 195) With 7 hit points instead of 5.
  • Round 3: Yusdrayl (page 248) and her 2 more kobolds with 7 HP guards from Area 21
  • Round 5: 3 Kobolds from area 16.
  • Round 8: 3 Kobolds from area 23.
I would guess that Yusdrayl would hang back and fire off chromatic orbs (PH pg 221) and burning hands (PH pg 220) spells.

20. Kobold Colony (page 18): A surplus of kobolds:
  • 3 Kobolds (mm pg 195)
  • 7 "kobold commoners" (MM pg 345): AC 10 HP 3 +1 to hit, 1 (d4-1) bludgeoning dmg.
  • 14 no-stat kobold riff raff
21. Dragon Throne (page 18): Yusdrayl (page 248) and 2 kobolds (MM page 195)
Yusdrayl can give the group a lot of info: The goblins and the twig blights serve an outcast named Belak, who is 'down below'. The kobolds believe they belong here because of the dragon paraphernalia.

There are a lot of keys here.. they go to areas 7, 15, 18, and 24. Treasure:
  • Quaal's feather token (DMG pg 188-189) (Tree): This can only be used outdoors. It makes a tree, with bark and everything.
  • Elixir of health, 3 doses (DMG pg 168) Removes disease/poison/blindness etc.
  • Mage armor (PH pg 256), spider climb (PH pg 277) knock (PH pg 254)
23. Underdark Access (page 19): 3 kobolds (MM pg 195). The tunnel is linked to whatever you want. It could be caved in if you don't want to use it. This might be a way to connect to the Forge of Fury. We'll check that out soon and see.

24. Trapped Access (page 19): It looks like if the group isn't cautious, the people in front are falling in to this pit trap: no save, d6 damage.

26. Dry Fountain (page 20): Say "let there be fire" and get yourself a potion of fire breathing (DMG pg 187) Once you drink it, you can do this three times: (bonus action) rg 30 one target makes a DEX save DC 13. 4d6 fire, half on a save. 

The door to 27 has some traps. If a hero tries to open it, a scythe comes out of the ceiling and slices you: +5, 4 (d8) slashing. To open the door, you either need to use knock or turn undead.

27. Sanctuary (page 20): 5 skeletons (MM pg 272)
  • Potion of resistance (fire) (DMG page 188) lasts one hour
  • Night Caller the magic whistle (page 228-229) Animate dead (PH pg 212)
28. Infested Cells (page 20): 3 giant rats (PH pg 327)

29. Disabled Trap (page 21): Let there be death! Poison mist Con save DC 10. Fail: 5 (d10) poison and poisoned for 10 minutes. Succeed: 1/2 dmg and poisoned for one minute!

30. Mama Rat (page 21): 3 giant rats (PH pg 327), Potion of healing (pg 188): 2d4+2

Guthash the Bloated One: AC 12 HP 16 +5 to hit, 4 (d4+2) piercing dmg. Has advantage when an ally is adjacent.

31. Caltrop Hall (page 21): 2 Goblins (MM pg 166). When the door is opened, a bell rings, alerting the goblins in 32

Caltrops (PH pg 151) If you move at half speed, you're fine. If you move normally, DC 15 Dex save or stop moving and take 1 piercing. Until you regain at least one hit point, your speed is reduced by ten feet.

Cover The 3 foot high wall must give them cover (PH pg 196). I'd say they have at least half cover, so +2 to AC and DEX saves.

33. Practice Range (page 22): 3 goblins (MM pg 166)

34. Goblin Stockade (page 22): Prisoners.. 3 kobolds (MM pg 195)

Erky Timbers

Erky Timbers, Gnome Acolyte: AC 10 HP 17 +2 2 (d4)
  • 3x: Bless (PH pg 219), Cure Wounds (PH pg 230, Sanctuary (PH pg 272)
35. Trapped Corridor (page 23): Another pit trap! No save, d6 damage. This will alert the goblins in 36. They'll be here in 2 rounds.

36. Goblin Bandits (page 23): 3 goblins (MM pg 166). If they can, they'll knock the group out and bring them to 34.

37. Trophy Room (page 23): Hidden in here is Calcryx, the white dragon wyrmling (MM pg 102)

The Map: If you plan on running Forge of Fury, definitely put a map that leads to Blasingdell or Khundrukar in the sealed scroll case in room 37.

38. Goblin Pantry (page 24): Mmmm... elf pudding.

39. Dragon Haze (page 24): Noise draws goblins from 36 and 40.

Lightly Obscured (PH pg 183): It's hard to see in here... disadvantage on perception checks using sight.

40. Goblinville (page 24): Cavalcade of goblins:
  • 3 goblins (MM pg 166)
  • 10 "Goblin Commoners" (MM pg 345): AC 10 HP 3 +2 1 (d4-1) dmg
  • 20 no-stat Goblin Freeloaders who want free stuff from the government.
41. Hall of the Goblin Chief (page 25): 3 hobgoblins (MM pg 186), Twig Blight (MM pg 32)
Grenl the Goblin Chief: AC 15 HP 10 +4 5 (d6+2) (bonus action) Disengage or Hide.
+3 spell attack, DC 11
  • At will: Poison spray (PH pg 266), Thaumaturgy (PH pg 282)
  • 2x: Bane (PH pg 216), inflict wounds (PH pg 253)
Durnn the Hogbgoblin (MM pg 186): AC 17 HP 11 +3 to hit 6 (d10+1) dmg   +7 dmg if an ally is adjacent to the target

Splint Mail Issue: It says in the book that Durnn has splint mail, and claims that it gives him an AC of 19! That looks like a mistake. Splint is AC 17 (PH pg 145).

Shaft: The adventure likes the idea of someone getting pushed into this shaft. DEX save DC 15 or take 8d6 damage!

Chest: Poison needle Dex save DC 15 or 1 piercing dmg and CON save DC 10 or 3 poison. Potion of healing 2d4+2, Faerie Fire (PH pg 239), Expeditious Retreat (PH pg 238)

42. Central Garden (page 27): Twig blights (MM pg 32) 2 robed skeletons (MM pg 272): AC 12 HP 13 +4 to hit 3(d6) shovel dmg

43. The Great Hunter's Abode (page 27): 1 bugbear (MM pg 33) 2 giant rats (MM pg 327)

45. Rift Node (page 27): Fire snake (MM pg 265) not an easy stat block to find!

47. Belak's Laboratory (page 27): 2 goblins (MM pg 166), 8 "Goblin Commoners" (MM pg 345): AC 10 HP 3 +2 1 (d4-1) dmg

Rat Disease: You grow tumors that look woody and fruit-like.

Healer's Kit (PH pg 151): 10 uses, auto-stabilize someone who is dying.

48. Garden Galleries (page 28): Bugbear with glaive: AC 16 HP 27 +4 to hit, 13 (2d10+2) dmg + surprise attack gives it +7 dmg

49. Arboretums (page 29): Many things in alcoves:
  • Goblin (MM pg 166)
  • 3 "Goblin Commoners" (MM pg 345): AC 10 HP 3 +2 1 (d4-1) dmg3
  • Fire snake (MM pg 265)
  • 3 skeletons AC 12 HP 13 +4 to hit 3(d6) shovel dmg
  • Twig blight (MM pg 32)
  • Potion of healing: 2d4+2
50. Ashardalon's Shrine (page 29): Shadow (MM pg 269)

Alchemist's fire (PH pgs 148, 151): (Action) Throw it up to 20 ft, make rg attack, d4 fire dmg at the start of each of its turns. Creature can end the dmg with a DC 10 DEX check.

51. Dragon Library (page 29): Scorching ray (PH pg 273), Melf's acid arrow (PH pg 259)

53. Belak's Study (page 29): Glyph of Warding (PH pg 245) 20 foot radius sphere, DC 12 DEX save, 5d8 cold dmg, half as much on a save.

Entangle (PH pg 238), protection from poison (PH pg 270)

54. Grove Gate (page 30): 4 goblins (MM pg 166), 4 twig blights (MM pg 32)

55. Twilight Grove (page 30) 10 twig blights!(MM pg 32) d4-1 ("minimum 0") more arrive every round if there's noise.

Briars: Small creatures are fine in here. Large and up have problems...
  • Normal Speed: Large creatures moving through the briars must make a DC 10 CON save every ten feet or 1 piercing
  • Slow Down: Spend two feet of movement for every one foot moved, no check.
56. The Gulthias Tree (page 30): If the group destroys the tree, the NPCs and the blights turn against Belak. In the second round, the giant frog launches into the fray! Big battle, lots o' creatures:
  • Belak the Outcast (druid, MM pg 346)
  • Sir Braford (pg 242) Tries to use Shatterspike (pg 229) to shatter weapons!
  • Sharwyn Hucrele (pg 243)
  • 3 twig blights (MM pg 32)
  • Kulket the Giant Frog (MM pg 325)
Treasure:
  • 3 Potions of healing 2d4+2
  • Antitoxin (PH pg 151) Advantage on saves vs. poison for one hour.
  • Wand of Entangle (page 229)
Braford and Sharwyn are going to die in 24 hours because they are linked to the tree now.

Background: Descendant of Durgeddin: As a dwarf, you want to find and claim your ancestral home of Khundrakar. You should have some other dwarves to watch it while you're off doing stuff.

Geradil or Courana as a friend or relative: They get captured in Forge of Fury, page 40

(page 33) Chapter 2 - The Forge of Fury

Backstory: There was an underground dwarven settlement called Khundrukar was overrun 100 years ago. Now, monsters live there. Durgeddin, leader of the ancient dwarves, created a number of special swords.

There are 5 levels to this place:
  1. The Mountain Door: Orcs
  2. The Glitterhame: Troglodytes
  3. The Sinkhole: A river
  4. The Foundry: Forge with many a duergar
  5. The Black Lake: Nightscale, the black dragon
Hooks: There's a few hook ideas for this:
  • The group finds a map
  • Orcs are raiding Balsingdell. They are coming from Stone Tooth/Khundrukar.
  • Baron Althon hires the group to go to Khundrukar and recover as many of Durgedden's blades as possible. He'll pay them 100 gp if they map the place out, too.
The Mining Town of Blasingdell:
  • Location: 30 miles from Stone Tooth/Khundrukar
  • Constable: Dara Whitewood
  • Store: Tolm's Superior Outfitting and Dry Goods
  • Inn: The Griffon's Nest Inn and Tavern
  • Church: Temple (of a deity chosen by you) run by Sister Alonsa.
  • Orc Prisoner: Captured, charm person got it to give directions to Stone Tooth
The Orc Prisoner: It might be fun for the heroes to kick this thing off by fending off the orc raiders.

I also think it might be cool if the orc captive was female, maybe an orc claw of luthic (Volo's page 183). They have beneficial spells like cure wounds and create food and water.

With a bit of effort, the group could befriend her and gain a trusty healer ally who can give them a lot of insight (info dump) on this scenario.

You could run it where her jailers treat her poorly, humiliate her. You can have one constable who's just a real jerk, an orc-hating sadist.

They charm her, they get the info they want out of her, and then intend to visit every cruelty they can think of upon her for months or even years. The group can step in, defend her, and give the constable their comeuppance.

Maybe the group realizes that the constable plans on scamming the town out of the swords once the group has obtained them.

Travel from Blasingdell to Stone Tooth: Will take 2 days if the group travels at normal speed ("Forced March" PH pg 81). It's 30 miles away, and they can cover 24 miles in 8 hours.
  • One Step Over the Razor’s Edge: If they want to hustle and get there in one day, that takes 10 hours total. They would need to make a CON save DC 11 (hour 9) and DC 12 (hour 10). Each failing means they gain a level of exhaustion (PH pg 291).
Getting Lost (DMG pg 111): If the group doesn't take the path up to Stone Tooth, they might get lost (DMG page 111). The party's navigator makes a DC 15 Wisdom (Survival) check. +5 if the group is moving slow, -5 if the group is moving fast. If the check is failed, the group is lost for d6 hours, then they can roll again.

Be Ready: This is one of those adventures where a lot of thought went into monster reactions. There is a good chance that the group is going to have an epic battle right in the beginning if they are not careful. Definitely spend time looking over "Mountain Door Defenses" on page 37.

Stealth Checks in Armor: I always forget that people who wear certain armors have disadvantage on Stealth checks. That's padded leather (!), scale, half plate, ring mail, chain mail, splint and plate. That might be vitally important here.

Captured heroes end up in the cages of area 6 (pg 39)

Ways In:
  • The Mountain Door: leads to area 1 (page 36)
  • The Chimney:  Leads to area 7 - This is risky. 80 foot drop, DC 15 Strength (Athletics). Fail by 5 or more make a DC 10 Strength save or fall and take up to 8d6 damage +3 fire (yes, you land in fire).
  • Orc Tunnel: Leads to area 21
  • (The Dark Mere) The adventure doesn't want this used.. the group would skip right to the end. But it's there.
(page 36) 1. End of the Trail: 2 orcs (MM pg 246)

Stealth? If the group doesn't stealth their way in, they are looking at either being locked out of the building or fighting most of the orcs here in one shot. That's an ogre, an orog, an orc Eye of Gruumsh, and 16 orcs.

If the group attacks the two orc guards, they run:
  • Round 1: The orcs shout a warning and run inside.
  • Round 2: The four orcs in room 4 shoot through arrow slits that are 15 feet up on the wall (longbows, +3 to hit, 5 (1d8+1) dmg). They've got three-quarters cover (PH pg 196) which means  +5 to AC and Dex saves.
  • Round 3: The 2 orcs run across the bridge in 3. One archer runs to 2 and bars the doors shut.
  • Round 4: Two orcs get to 5.
  • Round 5: Orcs cut the rope to the bridge in 3! 4 orc archers continue shooting. The orc Eye of Gruumsh shows up to help he archers.
  • Round 8: Orcs (and the orog?) from 14 show up in 5.
  • Round 12: Great Ulfe and the 4 orcs from 11 set up in 5.
(page 36) 2. The Dwarf Door: If the door is barred, it's a DC 20 Strength check to open.

(page 38) 3. The Rift Hall: 2 orcs (MM pg 246) who have half cover (+2 to AC and DEX saves) from rock outcroppings.

Crossing the rope bridge is not good if you're under attack. Make a DC 10 Dexterity (Acrobatics).
  • Success: Move at half speed.
  • Fail: No movement. Fail by 5 or more: Fall 200 feet into a river and make a new character!
Cutting the Rope Bridge: It has AC 11, HP 8. The orcs has +5 and does nine damage. So one hit takes out a rope!
  • One Rope Cut: The Bridge-crossing DC is now 12.
  • Both Ropes Cut: 7 bludgeoning damage, and a DC 12 Strength or Dexterity saving throw. Fail: Fall to your doom.
(page 39) 4. and 4a. Archers' Stations: 4 orcs (MM pg 246)

The arrow slits are at least 15 feet up! Not good for the heroes.

Sneaking Past the Arrow Slits: Dexterity (Stealth) vs. Orc passive Perception of 10

If the group makes noise, they might hear the prisoners in 6 calling for help.

(page 39) 6. Prisoner Cave: 2 commoners (Geradil and Courana)

(page 40) 8. Orc Commons: Remember that the passage to 10 is blocked with plunder, and after that there's a locked door to get through. Burdug keeps her "little stirgies" safe.

(page 40) 9. Shaman's Lair: Orc Eye of Gruumsh (MM pg 247) , 2 orcs (MM pg 246)

Burdug's Strategy:
  • Round 1: Command (PH page 223) on a fighter-type, DC 11 Wisdom save. Probably go with Grovel: The target falls prone and ends their turn.
  • Round 2: Bless (PH pg 219) All 3 bad guys get +d4 to attacks and saves. This is a concentration spell.
  • Round 3: (bonus action) Spiritual weapon (PH pg 278)  +3 to hit d8+3. She can use this as a bonus action each round.
  • Emergency: Burdug might chuck some alchemists fire (rg 20 +5, d4 fire at the start of each turn, end it with a DC 10 Dex check), run to 10 and sick the stirges on the group.
(page 41) 10. The Grand Stair: 4 stirges (MM pg 284)

There is a really brutal trap in here. It goes like this:

Open the dwarf face door, napalm hits all in 15 feet. All within 15 feet of the door make a DC 10 Dex save.
  • Fail: Take 10 (4d4) fire and they take 5 (2d4) fire at the start of each turn.
  • Succeed: half dmg and 5 (2d4) fire at the start of each turn.
Stop, Drop and Roll: Use an action to make a DC 10 Dex check. Success doesn't end it, it reduces it. Now you're taking 2 (d4) fire at the start of each of your turns. Another DC 10 DEX puts it out.

After Two Rounds: The door slams shut and the trap resets.

Here's the Worst Part: There's nothing in there! Just some gunk that you might be able to make some alchemists fire (PH pg 148) out of.

(page 41) 11. Orc Quarters: 4 orcs (MM pg 246)

Shoving: The orcs pair up, each attacking one hero. One orc tries to shove (PH pg 195) a hero prone, that's +5 vs whatever the hero rolls on a Athletics or Acrobatics check. If the orc wins, the hero is prone and the other orc attacks with advantage.

(page 42) 12. Great Ulfe: Modified ogre (MM pg 237), 2 dire wolves (MM pg 321)

The door's heavy! DC 17 Strength to get in.

Great Ulfe: AC 11 HP 59 +6 to hit 17 (2d12+4) slashing

Potion of Climbing (DMG pg 187) Gain a climb speed equal to your normal speed for one hour.

(page 42) 13. Dwarven Statue:

Get Within 5 Feet of the Statue: 15 foot cone of poison gas DC 12 Con save until... a short rest! Wow. It resets after 1 minute. Run away from this statue. Far away!

(page 43) 14. Bunk Room: Orog (MM pg 247 ), 4 orcs (MM pg 246), Potion of healing: 2d4+2

He Healed Himself: There's nothing characters hate more than a bad guy who drinks a potion of healing. That's 2d4+2!

Next up… The Glitterhame

That’s it for today. Thanks!

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 41 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 41: Evil Inside
No Nate this week. Anna spends some time questioning Chris, trying to figure out a way to bring Simon back. It doesn't work out.

Also, it was just announced that an enhanced edition of the Planescape: Torment PC game is coming on April 11th. Strix is from Sigil, which is the city that Torment is set in. The game is very highly-praised and I think it's considered as an RPG classic to some extent. There is a ton of reading involved in the game, so if you are OK with that, you should definitely check it out!

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

Last week, the heroes fought a bunch of yakfolk. Murderbot was crushed by an earth elemental and Harshnagg the frost giant fell off a cliff and is gone/dead. Paultin has blamed Diath for Murderbot's demise.


The group gathers the yakfolk slaves together, most of which are naked. They learn that Jasper, the dwarf from Citadel Adbarr is imprisoned in Ironslag.

The group looks for Krak, their dwarf NPC buddy. They find his armor, but he's gone. Evelyn puts on the armor. I’m trying to figure out what Krak is. Some kind of undead spirit? I feel like it’s obvious but I can’t put my finger on it.

The crew loots the village. They find tiki masks, electrum bracers, a spell scroll, 3 potions and a jug with fire genies carved on it which the group gets quite excited about, but doesn't rub.

The crew hands the slaves weapons and stuff to equip them for heir trip home. Two human slaves take no weapons or treasure, and Chris points them out a few times..

Evelyn figures out that Krak's armor is a magic item: armor of invulnerability, giving her resistance to non-magic weapons!

They identify some of the stuff:
  • 2 Potions of healing
  • 1 Potion of frost giant strength - makes your Strength a 23 for one hour. Strix takes it, which Chris thinks is funny.
  • Scroll of knock, which makes Diath feel unneeded.
Halani, the elf prisoner, tells Diath that if he ever comes to her forest, to seek her out to receive a reward. Then she kisses him, 18-year old Diath is overloaded.

They give Speliotha, a dwarf of the Understone clan, a maul. Evelyn makes friends with her immediately and starts copying her speech patter, which makes the other characters nauseous.

The Mines of Ironslag

A halfling slave named Dingus Rathill gets emotional and hugs Diath. Other halflings join in the group hug. Evelyn jumps in too. Strix laughs at them. She can see Dingus's butt peeking out of his grass skirt.

Another halfling gives Diath a gem in the shape of a cat. Diath goes, "You must have worked really hard on this during your slave time” and the delivery made me laugh out loud.

She says that she kept it up her butt for three months so the yakfolk didn't find it. Ame grind to a halt as everybody struggles to absorb this information.

It's a stone of good luck! Strix wants it, but has to give it to Diath when the halfling objects. Strix... licks it! Then she hands it over.

Just so you know, later on someone in chat reminds Diath not to forget to add “+1 butt-luck” to his roll, so that’s a thing now.

The halfling has an adventuring brother named Eliberry, a member of an adventuring crew that wanders around the Silver Marches.

Oh no... I think those two shifty human slaves are shape-shifted yakfolk. Oh geez, they're going to kill all those slaves.

Evelyn stops them before they leave. She figures it out. Fight!

The yakfolk begin this really gross transformation, where they slowly emerge out of the bodies. Strix polymorphs one into a rat.. so now a tiny yakfolk is crawling out of a rat.

Diath gets a new nickname: "Soft Target" Diath.

Speliotha aka Spaghetti joins the fray and rolls a natural 20. The yakfolk kills Speliotha - cuts her in two! The group kills the yak and as it falls off the cliff, Evelyn snatches the sword. It's magic! It does +2d6 fire damage.

Anna needs to figure out which three items to be attuned to. She reluctantly gives up Treebane, which, as I recall, is pretty much useless.

Evelyn names her sword "The Heart of Spinelli" to honor the dwarf whose name she can't remember. Diath points out that she shouldn't bother using a fire sword against fire giants. True!

After much planning, the group sneaks into Ironslag. They wander in the mines for a while.

They come upon a room with four chained dwarf slaves. The dwarves are waiting for a cart to come down the tracks.

The group wonders aloud if they are high enough level for this dungeon. Then they notice the slaves are guarded by a salamander. That’s where we stop!

Overall

Awesome show! Loved it. Normally I would have been disappointed that the session involved little more than cleaning up the yakfolk mess, but this group is so funny that it doesn’t really matter what is going on in the game. The episodes when it is just these three players seem like they always end up being pure gold.

DungeonFog - RPG Mapmaker

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We're going to check out DungeonFog, a D&D mapmaking program that is being kickstarted right now. They made their goal in about 4 days, so if you want to jump in, now's the time

I messed around with Roll20 a little bit a few months ago. Roll20 lets you play online, draw maps, all sorts of stuff. It was cool but extremely complicated. From what I understand, it adds a lot of prep work to a task that already has too much prep work involved.

I have made maps in Photoshop, but they're pretty craptastic. I would love to be able to make some nice maps with a simple program, especially for my online games.

DungeonFog purports to be such a program! The guy who made DungeonFog was nice enough to let me mess around with the pre-alpha version.

I decided to try to use DungeonFog to make the Yawning Portal - the bar from the new D&D adventure, Tales From the Yawning Portal. It’s a bar with a huge well in it that leads to the megadungeon known as Undermountain.

This thing is nice and simple. There are just a few elements to deal with. There are stages, floors and props. You select areas for the floors to fill in. Props are dragged and dropped right onto the map. My favorite prop is the dude in the cage.

Then in the edit section, there are different types of floors. There are also stages, which is your sort of main background that you put floors on top of. The stages are very nicely done. I slapped together a montage of my favorites:


I really like the rock one, in particular.

In the beginning, I was a little confused. You have to draw/outline the squares you want to use, and then fill it with the floor you selected. I had a bit of a hard time actually getting it to use the floor I wanted. After a few minutes of tinkering I got the basic idea of how it worked. Once I got going, it was ridiculously easy.

I love how you can rotate objects and make them larger or smaller. This isn’t some namby-pamby rotation, either. This goes right down to the degree. 

To rotate, you need to use your mouse wheel. I am using a laptop, which has no mouse wheel. I plugged in a mouse and it worked fine.

The other thing was that my laptop started to get warm after about 45 minutes. This thing is 4 years old and I had another very large program running, so maybe this won’t be a problem for anyone else.

I was really impressed with the whole thing. They have a lot of detailed little things. An oven! Three different cutting boards! A blood stain and a spill stain.

It took me about a half hour to make this Yawning Portal map:

That's not too shabby, am I right? Sometimes you see maps online that people made with some program and they look really cheesy and weird. To me, this really does look a bit like a program that creates maps in the style of Mike Schley.

When you’re done, you can turn it into an image. The image it generates has the DungeonFog watermark on the bottom, which is pretty large.

See how many squares that is? If this is 5 feet per square, that's 25 feet long! I can crop that out, but some people might not like having that on their map.

To me, this thing seems ideal for people making DMs Guild adventures. You can make your own maps! Maybe now we won’t see any more hand-drawn maps in the D&D Encounters adventures.

I wanted to make something stupid in DungeonFog for this article. I whipped up a goofy dungeon hallway loaded with stuff. I timed myself. It took me three minutes.

Three minutes! That’s the thing I like most about this program. You can make nice maps very quickly.

Apparently they are adding a lot more. You can play online with it, it somehow generates DM notes, all sorts of stuff. Honestly, the mapmaker is good enough on its own that even if they didn't deliver anything else it would be worth it.

The kickstarter has already funded (!), 4 days after it began, so I guess we'll be seeing more of DungeonFog..

If you think this might be something you want, check out their kickstarter right here.

Planescape: Blood War VI. The Taking of Onstrakkar's Nest

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I had big plans for this evening. The group was going to fight the avatar of a demon lord!

How do Avatars Work? I have never really understood how avatars and aspects work, exactly. Does the actual demon lord know what they know? When an aspect dies, does it hurt the demon lord? Can an aspect "go rogue"?

Aspects and avatars are a really nice way to throw a weakened version of the god-like bad guy at your group. I based mine on the stats of a young blue dragon and I added lair actions.

I used Lamashtu, a pathfinder demon lord that I think is pretty cool. I found some Pathfinder stats for her here, but it doesn't have much in the way of flavor or anything. She must have some cool powers, right?

New Monsters: Bidam has this place where he's making new types of demons. I was struggling to find creatures to use, and then I remembered that I had the Teratic Tome, a 1e-style book full of demonic, weird monsters! I immediately started raiding it, as it is absolutely perfect for this.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard  

Our heroes had just successfully rescued a spy from the palace of Malcanthet, the succubus queen. They'd also freed Red Shroud, mother of Fall From Grace.

The group did some downtime stuff in Sigil and elsewhere:

Prisoner: They put Red Shroud under the watchful eye of guards while she rested and healed.

Pleasers: They began to set up their link to the Yearning House, the demonic festhall they'd made a business deal with.

Radiant Sisters: The group had taken the magic halo of one of the radiant sisters. When a lillitu dons it, they become one of the 13 radiant sisters, elite agents of the succubus queen. The heroes decided to bring it to Lilith, the devil who also has lilitu servant. They were curious to see what would happen if a devil-leaning incubus donned the demonic halo.

I thought that was an awesome idea. The group is going to visit Lilith next session, so I will have time to mull it over.


New Demon: The group went to Bidam's demon-making farm and saw that the Mother of All had spawned a new creature - an Agonist! She has glowing runes on her, a tail with a spike and her mission in life is to bring down those who are "arrogant and stiff-necked."

I am saying that these demons grow to full size almost immediately after hatching.

Bidam loved the Agonist and "placed an order" for five more.

Trump Shenanigans: Theran went to check out his earthmote, and it turns out my Donald Trump NPC has been trying to destabilize the place via disinformation. I did this whole thing where the populace was getting mysterious notes that were making all sorts of controversial claims.

Ultimately it was all a set-up for a goofy joke. The culprits were a pair of trolls with Russian accents. Russian trolls! Thanks so much, I’ll be here all week.

Then Bidam spent some family time with his demon lord wife and his two dragon wyrmling kids. We did a montage set to this balloon song that used to play in the toy store that I worked in years ago.

Bidam has pretty much chosen to change his lifestyle. He can't figure out his new philosophy, though.

Hurling Death
Ambulator
I did a thing where Bidam learned that he can pee positive energy one time, but I think the less said about it, the better. Jessie is really fired up about it.

The next day, the group rejoined the devil army in Lamashtu's abyssal realm of Onstrakkar's Nest. They marched to the pinnacle of the realm, where the demon army was mustering.

The group rode the Death Hurler, a sort of mini-ziggurat made of damned souls set on massive rollers that squash anyone in their path.

The group reluctantly took Bovina, the cow lady NPC with them. She rolled ridiculously well last time. Tonight, she didn’t roll as well but she was quite useful.

The devil army marched through the Umbilical Forest, where huge amniotic sacs hung from thick branches. The demons made a surprise aerial assault. It went like this:
  1. Zovvuts flew overhead and fired their eye beams down on the devil army.
  2. Vrocks swooped down, unleashing their spores and their stunning screech.
  3. Then, the realm itself attacked. All of the amniotic sacs burst open! Inside were some of lamashtu's children - spider-things each with a giant eye known as ambulators!
Five of the ambulators made their way up the sides of the death hurler. Bidam used his horn of blasting to destroy three of them and they made quick work of the other two.

The devil army destroyed the ambulators and regrouped. They had been worn down a bit, which was the goal of the attack.

They made their way up to the pinnacle, where the sinister fortress of Lamashtu awaited. The group would have to ride the death hurler and crash through the protective wall to give the devils a way inside.

The tricky part here was that the group had to cover a vast open field to get to the wall. The demons would be able to fire off all sorts of ranged attacks at them as the adventurers approached.

The hell knights took flight to divert enemy fire and the death hurler surged forth.

Charging the Wall: The bad guys launched magic chaos hammers at the group, and then started using catapults to launch boulders with dretches tied to them. When the boulders hit, the dretch died and let out a fetid cloud of poisonous gas. The field was enshrouded in this mist, and the group was poisoned.

Vrocks swooped down out of the mist and tried to pluck the heroes off of the death hurler. Bidam drilled a vrock with his forearm, but the other two snatched Theran and Bovina (the cow lady). The vrocks flew up and away, intending to drop them from a great height.

Theran used misty step to teleport out of the grip of one vrock and onto the back of the other vrock who had Bovina.

Theran made some opposed strength checks and actually forced the vrock down towards land. He was able to get it flying just a few feet off the ground.

A hell knight riding a nightmare (flying, evil horse) let Bidam climb on, and they gave chase. Bidam slashed at the vrock, causing it to crashed into the ground. Bovina and Theran went tumbling in different directions.

Bovina was in the poison fog. At this point, demons and devils were fighting all around them. Theran got to Bovina just as a dretch slashed her. She was hurt, but not dead.

The group watched as their fried Feurina, the warder devil, ran up and killed the dretch with one stab. Feurina calls Bidam "brother" because they magically acquired each other's memories.

I got art of a warder devil the other day. As far as I am concerned, this is exactly what Feurina looks like.

Feurina, Hell Hound Whisperer
They went full speed and smashed through the wall, kicking up dust. The force of the impact sent Bidam and Bovina falling off the side.

The group was relieved to see that Bidam's devil slave, Nin, had rescued Bovina. Nin is a heresy devil who sits on a flying throne. I played him up this session because I have plans for him in two weeks. I did this thing where he likes the cow lady and is a real sleazeball about it.

Battle With Lamashtu


Lamashtu
The group and the devils burst into the main building of the complex. It was as big as a football stadium. Inside were more amniotic sacs hanging from umbilicals. In the center of this vast, open place was a red teleport circle that pulsed like a heartbeat. Seated around the circle were five demons strapped to thrones.

The group would eventually learn that these demons were the progenitors, male servants who helped Lamashtu make her monster babies.

After a bit of exploring, Lamashtu rose up from the circle in a burst of light. She roared, fired off her fiery breath weapon and tore into poor Bidam.

Her lair actions really messed with Theran, blinding him. He summoned a globe of invulnerability around him and Bovina, as they were both hurt badly.

Bidam fought Lamashtu, but had trouble because she kept to the air. She'd swoop down, claw him three times, then fly back up, provoking one attack. Bidam really has no ranged attacks.

Theran gave Bovina his wand of darkness, an item from Dead Gods that he never uses. She used it to summon a nightmare for Bidam to fly on.

Bidam actually was making death saves and he had an umbilical cord choking him. Bovina dumped goodberries into his mouth. He woke up, got on the nightmare and started slicing into Lamashtu's belly.

I keep waiting for Bidam to roll a 20, but it never happened. This would have been the perfect time. The sword of sharpness does cool things when you roll a natural 20.

Bidam carved up Lamashtu and Theran finished her off with a lightning bolt.

The devil army had won! They'd actually taken an abyssal layer, at least for the moment. They noticed that there was a rift that connected to the first layer of the Abyss. This is something many layers of the Abyss has. That is why the first layer is called The Plain of 1,000 Portals.
They worried that demons could pour through it at any time.

Drokkarn, the pit fiend general, announced that they needed to find a way to close that rift.

As I hoped, Bidam invited the progenitors to his farm. Now we're going to make some demons!

Next session, the group will visit Lilith as Malcanthet asked them to. Then in two weeks, they'll try to deal with the rift.

The devils have taken an abyssal layer and killed an avatar of Lamashtu! This should have lots of ripple effects:
  • Lamashtu now knows who the the heroes are and will obviously be extremely angry.
  • Iggwilv semi-controls Lamashtu, and will be none too happy that the group essentially took a layer away from her. Iggwilv currently is bound to Graz’zt’s palace. She has sent simulacrums of herself after the heroes, though.
  • Graz’zt has been secretly cavorting with Lamashtu. This would make Iggwilv very mad.
  • Graz’zt ultimately wants to unite the devils and demons into one massive army, so he’ll be reaching out to the group soon.
  • The adventurers will be lauded as heroes among the devils. Zariel will give them medals of honor of some sort. They should probably get some sort of devil boon.
  • When the group goes to meet Lilith, I think the devils there will have heard about what they did and the characters will be treated as VIPs.
Very good session! It was epic like I hoped it would be. It continuously confounds me that the heroes seem very weak for 12th level. I almost feel like I need to throw really low-level monsters at them. I don't want them getting dropped all the time, it feels lame.

The group hit 13th level!

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 42 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 42: Home Fires
We catch a listen of some pre-show banter. We learn that Holly likes to wear a lot of clothes and Jared has no fashion sense.

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Joe) Harshnag - Frost Giant
(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

Last time, The heroes took down some yakfolk stragglers and headed into the fire giant lair of Ironslag. Their job is to find out what is going on in this place.

There's four dwarf slaves watched over by a big, fiery salamander. a D&D "salamander" is a big, fiery snake/man. We roll initiative.

Diath leads the salamander to the group. Paultin hits it with a thunderwave. The salamander attacks Evelyn, whose armor of invulnerability cuts the damage in half. She took the armor off of the dwarf NPC Krak, who has gone missing.

Strix casts polymorph and turns the salamander into a frog. Chris points out that if they damage the frog, it will turn back into a salamander.

Polymorph a concentration spell, lasts up to an hour. Strix will have to hold it! They are looking for a pit to throw frog in. Paultin ends up chucking it in a bucket. This bucket ends up on the line in the foundry.

The group frees the dwarf slaves and Chris does a great raspy dwarf voice.

The dwarves say a certain word at the end of each sentence. One of them says “doh.” Anna proceeds to ask baking questions, quietly trying to get the dwarf to say "dough-doh." I am dying laughing.

Strix wants to turn into a rat and scout ahead. Man, I do not like that idea at all. Why not gaseous cloud? Strix is too squishy to scout, in my opinion. It freaks me out.


She enters a massive foundry where giants, dwarves and ogres are working. One giant is bullying a dwarf, dangling it over a furnace. The group doesn't know it, but this is Zaltember, one of the named giant NPCs.

Strix goes back to tell the crew what she found. The group decides to free the slaves. Strix assumes gaseous form and returns to the vast foundry area. She sees four huge dogs in a pen. Strix considers cutting them loose. Anna works in a "Who let the dogs out" reference... my god, she is on fire today.

Strix avoids some ogres and indeed let the dogs out. The dogs go grab some dwarves and start dragging them back to the pen. Those poor dwarves. Then, Strix is spotted.

The group hears the commotion and runs to the room. As It becomes apparent that something is amiss, the giant who was bullying the dwarf actually drops him into the furnace.

Paultin tries a crown of madness on an ogre, but it makes its save. The group is shocked. Evelyn spots the frog/salamander in a bucket.

Diath crawl-dashes, sneaking past ogres. Evelyn grabs the frog and throws it in the hell hound pen. The hound swallows the frog, who turns into a salamander and it's not pretty. They end up destroying each other.

The fire giant sees Evelyn and attacks her. Evelyn's armor helps her. She takes a total of 29 points, that's halved thanks to her armor. The group really doesn’t want to fight fire giants. That’s where we stop!

Overall

Good show, as always! Everyone was being funny and Anna just killed me. This is a very pleasant group and it makes this easy to watch every week. I hope people new to the game watch this so that they can see the mindset players might want to have when playing D&D. If you go to play a session with the intention of contributing to the fun, I think you have a great attitude.

Planescape: Blood War VII. The Shadow Sanctuary

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This one is pretty dirty and stupid so if you don’t like that kind of thing, don’t read this!

I was in a goofy mood when I prepared this, so I came with a lot of really dumb stuff that made me laugh and it made them laugh when I ran. Mission accomplished!

I’m trying to alternate between sessions focusing on actual mass combats and more traditional adventures linked in some way to the conflict.

Tonight was all about downtime, which is something I really love. For whatever reason, it always ends up being the best part of any of my campaigns.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard  
 
Last time, the group actually destroyed an avatar of Lamashtu, the demon lord who is the main villain leading the demon Blood War armies against the devils. The heroes are on the side of the devils, and have successfully taken an abyssal layer.

One thing I learned long ago was that you have to make sure things have impact. The world should react in some way big or small to what the group does. So, in this instance, since the group defeated an avatar of Lamashtu, the devils respect them and hold them in high esteem.

The group has been traveling with a minotaur/cow lady named Bovina. I dug her old sheet I wrote a year or two ago, Tibba Bovina is her actual name. She’s a member of the Godsmen, a faction that believes anyone can become a god by passing certain cosmic tests.

Baphomet
So I’m saying that Tibba has decided that since she rolled a natural 20 and shot a ballista bolt into the chest of the daughter of Baphomet, demon lord of minotaurs, that she thinks she can become a god of minotaurs and perhaps destroy or supplant Baphomet.

This fit in really well with one of the Wrath of the Righteous adventures which is set entirely in Baphomet’s maze. I can’t wait to run that one.

I gave her a stat block. She’s a swashbuckler from Volo’s page 217. If she survives for a while, I think she’ll become a Master Thief from Volo’s. The group let her keep the wand of darkness, which can summon a nightmare.

Two-Week Downtime Montage

Theran’s Castle: Theran runs Tornbend, a floating castle/settlement that some devils live in. I had the one of my Donald Trump NPC (Gonard Flumph, jr.) show up. He offered to buy a tower of the castle and put a bank of Samora (the settlement Flumph runs) in it. He had two Samoran banker with him (with Russian accents). Obviously, this was going to be some kind of money laundering scheme involving a shady kleptocracy.

George was in a mood tonight. He’s 13th now and has a new spell that he was itching to put into use: Finger of Death. Out of nowhere, he used it on Gonard Flumph, jr.!

His wife, Miss Tradegate (the Flumph family runs “Miss Universe” type events in the Outlands) screamed but realized she just inherited a fortune. Gonard rose up as a zombie under Theran’s control.

The ramification for this should be severe. It actually works with real-life events. Next week, I can have Flumph launch some kind of missile strike against Tornbend. I guess that would be a meteor swarm in D&D, right? Flumph would have to hire a wizard for that, and I think Iggwilv would do it a he is not too thrilled with the group right now.
Graz'zt

Then, Graz’zt gave him a visit! Right now, Graz’zt is trying to hunt down his old adviser, Verin, who has sought asylum in another abyssal realm. Graz’zt’s army is mustered there but they can’t make any progress. Graz’zt wants the help of the devils (Graz’zt’s ultimate plan is to unite the demons and devils against the angels, the group knows this).

Allagash: At Bidam’s demon-making farm, his order of five Agonists was completed. A new type of demon was made as well. It is an Ivory Banshee, another creature from the Teratic Tome. It's a woman whose lower half is made of three bladed "creme-colored tentacles."

The Agonists like to bring arrogant people of power down. So, Bidam sent them to Samora to try to take down Gonard Flumph. This seems like a golden opportunity to parody the spy stuff going on.

BurningWater: Over the two weeks, Bidam did a lot of family stuff with his demon lord wife and his two demon/dragon wyrmlings:
  • Make Dinner: Bidam cooked up so demon crustaceans and rolled really well. Delicious!
  • Clean up dragon poop/scold children: Success!
  • Deal with a demon peeping on his wife getting dressed: Beheaded with the Sword of sharpness.
  • Magic Healing: Bidam once again got the power to pee positive energy (Bazuuma is infused with positive energy), which can overheal the target. I’ll spare you the details.
Tibba Bovina: The group rescued Red Shroud, a pretty major D&D NPC from Planescape and Savage Tide. Red Shroud taught Tibba how to fight. So she’s a swashbuckler.

The group was given a choice. Red Shroud wants to stay in Sigil and work as an information broker. She wanted to live in Deadbook Square, which is the heroes’ section of Sigil. The group said no. So he’s living elsewhere. Fall From Grace, daughter of Red Shroud, was disappointed.

Festhall Wars 2: I did a whole thing with the Sigil festhalls. The group now own three brothels: The F**khaus, The Palace and the House of Yearning. The other festhall owners are taking a hit financially. So one of the owners decided to do something about it. His name: Dildo T. Baggins. My group loves this guy.

Long story short, Mr. Baggins had a succubus go charm people to sabotage the various festhalls:
  • The Palace: The torch singer became a comedian who viciously “roasted” the regulars from the stage.
  • The House of Yearning: Got a bad review in the Sigil Scroll.
  • F**khaus: Someone sabotaged the flesh golem lady and it was gross.
The heroes put the pieces together. They resolved the various issues and went to confront Mr. Baggins. Guess what happened? Theran gave him the finger of death right out in the streets of Sigil. Murder!

Did not expect that! I’m going to have to do a whole thing about this. You can’t just kill people in public in the city (unless you’re in the Hive, where there’s no police presence).

I have long wanted to do a session that is all about a trial. Some of my favorite episodes of the Simpsons were about trials and Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. I just had a bunch of ideas that I wrote down, I think I can make this happen. I’ll probably set it up next session and run “The People of Sigil vs. Theran the Wizard” the session after that.

The group nailed a message to the chest of Zombie Baggins. They had it go to each of the other festhalls of Sigil as a warning that basically told them not to mess with Bidam and Theran.

Elemental Earth: The group own two mansions in the Plane of Elemental Earth. They have a bunch of dwarf slaves/employees digging up precious metals for them. They’d found 10,000 gp worth of lapis lazuli for the group.

The architect genie finished building the swimming pool/moat. I did a thing where the dwarves kept saying stuff like: “Sure is hot down here..” and, “Whew! Really working up a sweat.” The group got the hint and let the dwarves go for a swim.

Zariel, Ruler of Avernus

That's an art commission I got done of Zariel. She's supposed burned much more, but  like the way she looks here. Her armor is made of baatorian green steel and she has animated skeletal wings.

The group was asked to visit Zariel, the ruler of the first layer of Hell. There I very, very little information on her in published D&D products, so I mad my own. I had art made for her and everything.

On their way into her burned citadel, the group bumped into a 30-foot tall, two-headed pit fiend. He shapeshifted into a two-headed devil dragon. This is Mordukhavar the Reaver, a spawn of Tiamat and a pit fiend from an old issue of Dragon Magazine. He congratulated the heroes on defeating Lamashtu’s avatar and claiming a layer of the Abyss.

I took a stab at statting out Mordukhavar:

My idea here was that the group would be given medals and they’d have a chance to get a look at the story I made up about Zariel. It’s a whole long thing, but basically she has these 12 severed angel heads she talks to and they talk back. She is making secret plans with them. No devils know about this.

The group, Tibba, the Death Hurler (the damned soul/siege engine), and Drokkarn the pit fiend general went to her scorched throne room only to find it empty. They could inane muttering coming from a corridor. The group decided to sneak around and check it out.

They peeked in a room and there was Zariel talking to her angel heads in Celestial. Theran quietly cast comprehend languages and hear her scheming with them. The angel head she was talking to was trying to talk Zariel out of some crazy plan.

One of the angel heads saw the group and mouthed the words: “Help me.”

I thought that would be it. Cool little thing, there, right? Nope. Theran walked into the room and said, “What are you doing?”

I was in a bind. There’s really nothing to do here but the obvious. After all, they revealed that they were spying on an archdevil!

She turned, her eyes glowed yellow, and Theran was set ablaze! He made his save and took 30 fire damage. Then she closed in on them. Thankfully the group didn’t swing back. I think they knew she was too powerful for them.

My Zariel has skeletal wings that she can use as weapons. She stabbed Theran once and he was near death.

The group talked her down and promised not to tell anyone. The angel heads backed them up. Zariel was impressed that Theran was still standing and decided to let them live on the condition they tell no one.

They went to the throne room. The group were given Asmodean medals of honor. The NPCs got Asmodean medals of valor.

Then, standing right there in front of Zariel, Bidam actually started talking about the heads! Ugh… Bidam was set on fire before he could finish the sentence. The group ran out of the citadel before they all died.

Lilith and the Shadow Sanctuary


I got a commission of what I think a devil lilitu would look like. I don't like the 3rd edition depiction of them and I thought this was more in line with what they would look like.

So we finally got to the adventure part of this adventure. A few sessions back, Malcanthet, the demon queen of succubi, asked the group to go visit Lilith, the devil queen of succubi. She charmed Bidam and has a psychic link to him.

The group busted out their magic pirate ship and sailed up the River Styx. Drokkarn gave them a writ of passage. They sailed through many layers of hell:
  • Avernus: There are styx devil checkpoints every 10 miles where the devils look at your paperwork and subject you to a full body cavity search (this is right out of the Fiendish Codex). The styx devils realized that the group were the people who killed an avatar of Lamashtu, and their mood completely changed. High fives were exchanged and no cavities were probed.
  • Dis: The heroes sailed past the city of Dis. Two erinyes flying by stopped and talked to the group, realizing who they were.
  • Minauros: They sailed back Jangling Hiter, the city of chains. Sagirsa, the ruler, said hi to the group. She has a thing for Drokkarn and asked them to tell him to visit sometime.
  • Phlegathos: The group sailed by the pit of flame, a huge column of fire that devils are thrown into as a punishment for some transgression. The bone devils who run this place and some of the devils who were about to be thrown in saw the group sailing by, realized who they were, and cheered them.
  • Stygia: The group sailed by the Tomb of Levistus. Levistus is trapped in a glacier but he can communicate telepathically. He had a brief conversation with the group.
  • Malbolge: This realm is covered in a layer of living flesh made up of the last ruler of Malbolge – the Hag Countess. The group could see the flesh churning and groaning, obviously suffering. They watched an imp gleefully stab the land with a pitchfork. They felt sorry for it and I’m probably planting seeds for an adventure down the line. I love the idea of the hags of the multiverse getting together to try to restore the Hag Countess to her former form.
  • Maladomini: Finally we’re here.
As the group pulled up to a dock, they saw a red-skinned bard waiting for them. She was talking to an imp in the giant language, certain that the heroes wouldn’t understand her. Theran again quietly cast comprehend languages and basically learned that Antisia is a spy. She’s in Baalzebul’s court, spying for her father Mephistopheles. Mephistopheles and Baalzebul are at war with each other.

Antisia is from an old magazine. I think it was Dungeon 140, I might be wrong. She escorted the group to the Palace of Filth, where the group met Baalzebul and his court.

Lilith
The story I made up here is that while Baftis is his consort, Baalzebul wants Lilith to accept him and be hi #1 consort. He has a ring of joining, and she has the other. If she puts it on, she will be infernally bound to fully be his consort for at least 100 years.

Malcanthet quietly told Bidam that they needed to get that ring on Lilith's finger.

The heroes headed over to the Shadow Sanctuary, a defiled temple of a good deity. They went in, and saw a lillitu (super-succubus) playing a massive organ. The heroes had a halo taken from a demonic lillitu. They waned to see what it would do on a devil lillitu. Malcanthet wanted to see, too.

The group ended up sneaking by this lillitu. Their rolls were insanely high from this point on.

They snuck their way upstairs. They surprised a lillitu guard and slapped the halo on her. She fell to the ground, twitching. Malcanthet found this to be hilarious.

They bypassed some traps and explored Lilith’s gothic/emo bedroom. They found the ring of joining in a trapped box. They took it and crept down to the dungeon level.

Lilith’s whole thing revolves around torturing paladins of good gods. I only use goofy torture in my games, so Lilith was reading bad fan fiction to a chained-up paladin, who was aghast at the terrible dialogue and gaping plot holes, begging her to stop.

There were a total of 40 imprisoned clerics and paladin who worshiped many different good deities. I was wondering if the group would try to save them. They did.

They rolled ridiculously high on stealth. Theran quietly tried to mage-hand the halo onto Lilith. Lilith suddenly stood and turned. She held up her hand and telekinetically blocked the halo.

We rolled initiative and the group rolled ridiculously high. Bidam grabbed the halo and slapped it on her head. Lilith fell to the ground twitching, shifting between a physical form and a shadow form. They slipped the ring of joining on her finger, freed the prisoners, and got them all on the boat as a massive swarm of devil flies tried to chase them down.

They got away and sailed back down the Styx. The heroes had paid off their debt to Malcanthet and had undoubtedly made a new enemy in Lilith.

Overall

It was fun as always. Lilith’s story in some of the official books is that she’s apathetic. When she was a good-aligned angel, she was tricked by Asmodeus into joining his rebellion. She thought she would be his consort, but Asmodeus lied to her. He asked Bensozia to be his consort instead. So she’s brooding, apathetic and bitter.

I am going to say that this halo infused her with chaotic energy, enough to jolt her out of her doldrums and make her more proactive and a bit unpredictable. I think Lilith is cool and I feel like not enough has been done with her.

I really like the idea of the devil succubi and the demon succubi fighting each other, so that’s where we’re at.

I think next week the group is going to go and fortify the portal that links Onstrakkar’s Nest to the Plane of 1,000 Portals. I will need to look up some kind of magic item that creates a barrier that would keep the demons out. I guess you could use a wish spell but I’d like to use some official thing if I can.

Adventures in Eberron - Nine Draws From the Deck of Many Things

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We're now 9th level in the Eberron campaign, in which I run a sorcerer. I got to pick a 5th level spell, which was extremely difficult. Ultimately, I went with cone of cold because I do too much fire damage. I feel like I might need more utility spells, but I have fly and invisibility, which covers a lot of bases.

We use an actual deck of many things. You can get one in a 4th edition boxed set called Madness at Gardmore Abbey. It comes with the deck, some pretty nice poster maps and adventure booklets. Even if you don't run the adventure, the deck and the maps make it worth buying. Some people say this adventure is the best of 4th edition, but I ran it and it kind of sucked.

Right now it's at $40 on amazon, ebay and half.com which, IMO, is too high for a deck and maps.


We had finally made it all the way through the Shadow Castle. Our fighter had died, so we brought him to get resurrected at one of the clan houses (Jarasco?).

We Met Corellon: We learned that this warforged we saved was actually Corellon, god of the elves. It's part of the overall metaplot. In the campaign we played previously (4th edition), we defeated Lolth and Orcus. Both of those entities had placed a portion of their divine spark here in Eberron so that it would be possible for them to be reborn. One of the rakshasas serves Orcus, the other serves Lolth.They're trying to revive the two demon lords.

Corellon came here to try to help oppose them, but he ended up trapped by the bad guys in the Shadow Castle.

Rakhasas: As we made our way through the city of Sharn, we were accosted. We finally ran into the rakshasas who have been up to no good throughout this campaign. They had charmed some guards, who were closing in on us.

We were on the center of a bridge high up in the city of towers. I cast fly on myself and Art/Corellon. We had a little trouble with the guards, who were very weak. One rakshasa cast fly and came after me.

On the bridge, our fighter fired off some arrows into the rakshasa. It turns out that they are vulnerable to piercing weapons used by good-aligned creatures, and he did piles and piles of damage to it.

We had researched rakshasas and I knew they were immune to spells 5th level or lower (!). So I started flying around, leading the rakshasa on a chase. Ultimately, I timed it so that when the rakshasa flew near a statue on the side of a tower, I cast shatter on it so it broke off and fell on the rakshasa. I rolled and it worked!

The rakashasa crashed onto a bridge far below. I went down to see if it was still alive, but it was gone.

When I got back to the bridge, the group was finishing up the other rakshasa. When it died, it turned into mist. We saw that it wasn't dead, it was just reforming elsewhere.

Art/Corellon was nowhere to be seen. He had said he wouldn't be around for long.


Deck of Many Things: We returned to our base and had a long discussion about what to do next. We questioned a charmed guard and didn't learn too much.

What ended up happening was that we let our succubus ally draw from the deck of many things. She had asked to do that last session.

The day after the battle with the rakshasas, we went to the cemetery (we figured that was the safest place) and we let her draw.

She took two cards. I was wondering if the DM had pre-planned the cards she'd take. He didn't! He actually let one of the players draw them. She drew:
  • Key: This card gives you a magic item. She got a magic dagger.
  • Void: Her soul got sucked out of her and is trapped in some unknown realm! Wow.
Basically, we got a magic dagger. I think we're going to try to find her. She's a bit of a wild card, we're not sure if she's an enemy or ally.

Our wizard has a mysterious book of shadows. In the book, it says that when each of us have drawn three cards from the deck, something will happen. We debated about whether or not we should just do this now. The wizard is very hesitant. I told her I wouldn't draw from the deck if she wouldn't rubber stamp it. She did.

So.... we all drew from the deck of many things. It was terrifying.

Here's what I got:
  • Key: I got... a staff of power! Blew my mind.
  • Fool: I lost 4 points of intelligence. My Int is now an 8. No big deal, Charisma is my go-to stat.
  • Rogue: An NPC ally has become my enemy.
The fighter drew:
  • Key (I swear): Magic arrows of slaying, I think.
  • Rogue (!): An NPC ally has become his enemy.
  • Moon: He can cast wish two times! Wish! He's saving them for now.
The wizard:
  • Euryale: She has a -2 to all saving throws from now on. Ouch!
  • Fates: She can erase one event from the past. We laughed, as that meant she could get rid of the -2 saves if she wanted. She's saving it for now.
  • Star: She got +2 to a stat of her choice. She went with intelligence.
That's it! That's the best draw from the deck I've ever seen. In any campaign I've been in, nobody survived 9 draws. We got really, really lucky.

The Book of Shadows gave us three riddles/quests. In order to save the world from Orcus and Lolth, we need to go to three Eberron places:
  • The Mournland
  • The Nation of Droaam
  • The Eldeen Reaches
It was pretty clear that this is a task that should be undertaken after we've handled a few other more pressing matters. I think the DM didn't expect us to draw from the deck at all. We'd actually declined to do so a few sessions prior.

Not only did he roll with it, he came up with three cryptic riddles on the spot, each of which incorporated the names of the three cards we had just drawn.

We were giddy off of our draws. I immediately attuned to my staff of power and began bragging about all the cool magic items I have:
  • Staff of Power
  • Wand of Wonder
  • Dagger of Venom
  • Ring of Spell Storing
  • Bag of Beans (3 beans left)
  • Well of Worlds
  • Circlet of Blasting
  • Handy Haversack
  • Periapt of Wound Closure
  • Goggles of Night
Boom! That's over two years worth of real life time spent accumulating that stuff. The nice thing is that most of them don't require attunement.


Well of Worlds: We eventually decided to take on another quest. We needed to use our well of worlds to travel through three different planes to find three towers. Once we'd done so, we'd be able to go to a 4th tower that was the true object of our quest.

In the last campaign, our heroes lived in a green tower in Fallcrest. I assume that's where we're headed. It's very interesting to cross over from Eberron to the 4th edition Nentir Vale setting, very cool.

We went to an underground safe place and opened up the well. I rolled a random plane from a list of Eberron planes the DM had.

We lowered our fighter in, and basically he was in the Eberron equivalent of the far realm. I can't remember what it was called. It's the home of creatures called the Xoriat. Apparently, they created illithids and beholders.

We pulled the fighter out and he was covered in worms. We quickly decided we were not going in there and I started folding up my well. We'd just wait d8 hours and roll again.

But as I was folding up the well, something invisible came through. We quickly threw gunk and dust at it, so we could see it. It was a beholder!

Eye Rays: I was blown away. I can't think of when I'd last fought a beholder in any campaign. 4e beholders are especially scary, because they can fire eye rays at the end of other people's turns!

I won initiative and I cast hold person from my staff of power. It failed its save! The staff gives me +2 to everything, including AC, spell attack bonuses and the save DC of my spells! So the DC from my spells is now an 18, which is insanely high. My character is much, much more powerful now. I don't usually make spellcasters so this is very fun for me.

The beholder was held and we destroyed it with lightning bolts and arrows. We killed it in about 3 rounds. It was held the whole time!

We waited eight hours and tried the well again and this time, it led to some kind of Eberron feywild. We dropped into a crystal cave behind a waterfall. Outside was a city that seemed to be in the middle of a mass battle between armies on flying mounts. That's where we stopped.

Overall

Awesome session! We did a lot of big things and made a lot of progress. I'd say this was my favorite session of them all.

The DM rolls with everything very well. He was more than happy to indulge me when I led the rakshasa on that flying chase.

Good stuff! Looks like we'll play again in May.

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 43 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 43: Meltdown
The group is in a tough spot this week. There are fire giants everywhere and the heroes are scattered in a bunch of rooms.

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

Chris starts with a long recap. He points out that that the salamander is still alive after it exploded out of the hellhound’s body. Strix is in gaseous form. Diath is sneaking around. There’s 4 ogres on the gantry who are just standing there, confused.

I get confused by this kind of thing, so I decided to use the maps to show where everyone is:

Paultin is cut off from the foundry by a wall of stone. It is dark. He can hear something big coming up behind him. A big stony hand settles on his shoulder. A voice says: “Abandon your friends and come with me. I will help you, and you will help me.” He's a dao (an earth genie). Paultin agrees to go with him.

Evelyn is flying by a fire giant overseer. She activates her armor of invulnerability, so she takes no damage at all. As she activates it, she calls out: "You can't hurt sunshine!" which appalls the other players.

Evelyn flies away. The overseer attacks Strix. She's in gaseous form but she can be hit. Evelyn summons her horse, Mourning Glory, and orders her to distract the giants. The horse almost immediately destroyed and it is de-summoned.

Strix sees a new giant enter the area, wielding a maul. This is Duke Zalto, the fire giant who runs this whole place. On the end of his maul is a cage with a dwarf in it. Strix flies over to Evelyn, shuts off her gaseous form and is hanging on Evelyn, who is still flying.

Both of them fall to the ground. Diath is right there near them. He grabs the dust of disappearance off of Strix’s belt and uses it. They all turn invisible, hold hands and try to creep about.

Duke Zalto tells the heroes to surrender or he'll kill the dwarf in the cage. Diath notices that one exit is blocked with a wall of stone.

Evelyn is sent to go open the giant-sized doors. Strix and Diath try to sneak down the stairs to the lower level, but fire giants are coming up. One of the giants brushes into Strix and stops.

Strix lets go of Diath's hand. She wants him to keep going. Diath throws a gem to try to get the giants looking in another direction. It works.

Evelyn flies down to the door on the lower level. The giant tries to dump the dwarf into the molten lava. The poor dwarf is holding onto the cage. Evelyn flies up to him, still invisible, and grabs on to him.


Meanwhile, the dao and Paultin come to a huge room and see massive parts that are meant for a gigantic golem. They pass through the big room, go down to a lower level, and avoid some goblins while sneaking into a war room (page 183).

In the room is an inert iron golem with a rune-covered iron ingot embedded on its forehead. The dao wants to steal it. He knows the command word but doesn't want to activate it, because the golem follows the orders of fire giants. He wants Paultin to use his magic to handle this.

Paultin isn't sure what to do. Eventually, they look inside it. In it is a hovering magical flame - this is the spirit of fire that animates it.

Paultin can't figure out how to disable it. He sees a sigil on the side of the armature. Paultin thinks this golem was made by the Bronzefire clan of dwarves. He points it out to the dao, who says he wishes Paultin hadn't noticed that.

The dao grabs his hand more tightly and Paultin lets out a thunderwave. Good idea! The dao is hit and lets go of him. Paultin runs to the giant-sized door. He needs to make a strength check to open it. He rolls... a natural one. Oh man.

The dao orders the golem to knock Paultin out. It hits him for 25 points on the first hit and a critical on the second! 44 points of damage and Paultin is down.

Back in the other area, Duke Zalto tries to shake the dwarf off of his maul and into the molten lava. The dwarf falls and Evelyn slingshots him so he lands on the floor. He takes a bunch of damage, but he is still alive.

Meanwhile, Diath and Strix, still invisible, go down the stairs and start racing across the foundry. They meet Evelyn at the giant-sized double doors. Diath asks Strix to drink the potion of frost giant strength, so that she and Evelyn can push the door open.

Duke Zalto jumps into the molten pool, sending globs of lava onto the floor near the group. They frantically push the doors open and run through. The dwarf is making a run to the door.

He gets in. Duke Zalto tries to get to the door but the group shuts it. Duke Zalto yells: "Fuck you!"
 
The Cisterns
The group is still invisible, but the dwarf is not. They grab the dwarf and try to hide next to the door so that Duke Zalto just walks right by and hopefully doesn't see him.

Duke Zalto comes in, shuts the giant double doors, puts his maul down and sees the dwarf. The group is in a room with three big cisterns full of water. This room connects to another. From that other room comes another giant, a female wearing a gown made of black dragon hide.

She says "Zalto, is that you?" She is holding a giant iron cauldron. This is Zalto’s wife, Brimskarda.

Strix uses her frost giant strength to push the maul out of the way so they can go back through the door.

Evelyn suddenly realizes that her harness is empty. Waffles the baby owlbear isn't there. Neither is Mr. Stinky and Juniper, the pet mice. This must have just happened in the past ten seconds. The animals were spooked.

Evelyn takes out some food and makes a noise to call them to her. Zalto hears it. That’s where we stop.

Overall

Good show! The players definitely felt stressed, and they reacted in a way that I really haven't seen before. I would say that Jared and Holly handled it especially well.

Next episode, Paultin can't make it. The group is going to play the animals, who fled into the vents. It will go like this:
  • Holly: Mr. Stinky the cranium rat
  • Jared: Waffles the owlbear
  • Anna: Juniper the mouse
I noticed that they are doing shows every single week, which is pretty awesome. During Curse of Strahd, there were a lot of missed weeks, which I thought hurt the campaign a bit. This whole season has been very good.

I will be bummed when these characters die/retire. Hopefully that is a long way away. I can't imagine these characters at 16th level. Strix in particular will be so powerful, I can't picture what the game would be like. What would they play through? Would Chris make adventures up?

Dungeons & Dragons - Tales From the Yawning Portal Review

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Now that I’ve completed the guide to Tales from the Yawning Portal, I am ready to give the book a thorough review. This is the new adventure for Dungeons & Dragons and it isn’t like the others. There’s no overarching story. The book contains 7 separate, classic adventures updated to 5th edition rules. You could play them in order if you want to and make a campaign out of it with minimal effort, I guess. You can get this book at amazon right here.

I want to give general thoughts, then I’ll talk about each adventure, the presentation, and then I’ll ramble on and on about the adventures that they chose to put in this book.

Short Version: It’s pretty good. I think newer players will enjoy this book. The rules conversion is really well done and they did a great job cleaning up a lot of confusing entries. That said, I am really tired of these same adventures being trotted out in every edition, so this book didn’t do that much for me. Warning: Most of these adventures are absolute hell to prepare.

Initial Observations

The Tavern: The framing device of the Yawning Portal, a tavern in the Forgotten Realms, is a bit odd. I like it, I guess I just wish they gave us a few more pages of detail on it.

Also, the fact that the Yawning Portal connects to Undermountain makes this a little strange, too. This book has nothing to do with Undermountain. You could stick these dungeons in Undermountain, I guess.

The Main Hurdle: The biggest problem with this book is simply the fact that some of the dungeons are way too big. Sunless Citadel, Forge of Fury and Dead in Thay in particular. I’ve found that players like dungeons, but if they’re in the dungeon every session, things get bland and boring. Dead in Thay is really cool, but that is an awful lot of dungeon to crawl through.

You need to break it up a bit with socializing with NPCs, hanging out in town, and exploring a less limited “zone” so to speak.

Backlog: I definitely think that making this kind of book was a good decision because people are still playing through the other adventures. I know this isn’t a big indicator, but right now the guide that people read the most every day on my site is Curse of Strahd. I think that a lot of D&D players haven’t even started Storm King yet.

I have to say that I have become fond of the two adventures-per-year format. It’s fun. I really like how this edition is not relying on a constant flow of sourcebooks. In 4th edition, they burned through  everything so fast within the span of, what.. 3 years? It’s been almost the same amount of time for 5e, and there’s still so much stuff to explore. They thought this edition out really well. The rules are holding up, everything is smooth, it’s awesome.

The Adventures

OK, let’s talk about the adventures. The good part is that these conversions are great. They did an awesome job explaining things and taking weird, arbitrary rules from Tomb of Horrors and translating them into 5th edition rules. It seems like nothing at all is lost in translation, and many adventures actually benefit from the 5e rules.

Sunless Citadel

The most memorable part of this dungeon is Meepo, the kobold NPC. It seems like each group did something a little different with him, but everybody has a Meepo story to tell.

There are a lot of really cool, basic traps. I really like the one with caltrops. Nobody ever uses those things. I love the potion-dispensing statue, and the wyrmling is fun.

Overall, though, I have never liked this adventure. I don’t like twig blights, I don’t like kobolds and I don’t want to get into an epic struggle with a tree.

It’s also a bit of a bummer that the transformed adventurers can’t be saved. Why? It’s just evil bark, scrape it off.

Forge of Fury

This is another 3rd edition dungeon that is way too big. When an adventuring location is this full of stuff, it just feels like a chore to read and play through. I don’t think it’s an accident that White Plume Mountain and Tomb of Horrors are so well-regarded and yet they are only about 20 pages long at most.

I understand that, in the 3e era, they needed to put in enough XP worth of monsters to make sure the group hits the right level for the next adventure, but it’s still pretty excruciating.

I can say that I absolutely love the whole section with the black dragon. It is fantastic. Dragon fights sometimes aren’t what they should be. You definitely want it flying around and generally being the threat that it is, and exploiting its lair fully. This is one of the coolest dragon fights I can remember reading.

The Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan

There’s good and bad with this adventure. The good part is that the set-up is awesome. You fall into a dungeon and you have to fight your way out. There’s a lot of really creative, highly-detailed rooms and encounters.

The bad part is that this thing, the 5e version, is extremely painful to prepare. There are so many details you need to juggle. It’s impossible! It’s just too much. You get depressed at the idea of sitting down and preparing a section of this.

The final encounter has always been a weird thing in this adventure. I prefer the 4e version. I mean.. a hyena? That’s it? It feels flat. The group might be so drained and exhausted that they don’t even touch the altar. They just go home.

The main thing I wonder about Tamoachan is whether or not it really is a classic. I ran this in 3rd edition and it was completely forgettable. I also ran it in 4th, and the only parts people remember are the jokes I made out of the talking slug-thing and the werejaguar with six nipples.

I will never understand why the werejaguar has 6 nipples. Why do we need to know that? I had a player use the skin to make a 6-nippled vest/healing potion dispenser, so it worked out for us.

White Plume Mountain

I love this adventure and this conversion is stellar. It’s so short and yet so full of content. It’s amazing.

I am really glad that they went out of their way to make detailed art of the terraced room. That place has always been so hard to describe. It’s such an awesome room, it deserves the full treatment.

The frictionless room seems like it lost just a little something, somehow. It’s still fantastic. They kept the super-tetanus, which is the most important part.

They also did a great job of clarifying that hovering river, which I had a hard time with when I ran the original.They also described the crab room really well. It's a bit tricky explaining the "bubble" to players.

To me, this is the best adventure out of all of the ones in this collection by far.

Dead in Thay

I’m glad this is in this book. This a really fun dungeon and it deserves to be acknowledged as such. One of the things I like most about this is that you can pull out dungeon sections and use them however you like. Basically, you’ve got 7 or 8 dungeons to use as you see fit.

I’ve never fully grasped the glyph keys. Why is this so complicated? What’s the point?

It was only in this reading that I fully understood the phylactery vault. The phylactery vault is fantastic, a truly epic final encounter. I think I kind of blew it when I ran it the first time and I really want another crack at it. I mean.. a place full of lich phylacteries! That’s just awesome.

Also, the rooms where the Chosen are held in magic shrines are fantastic. Each shrine encounter is completely different and they are all either fun or really scary. None are boring. You could grab any one of these rooms to use as a final encounter for an adventure of your own making. Any time a bad guy steals someone to siphon the life force out of them, you’ve got plenty of encounters already made for you.

Against the Giants

I have never run or read this before. Now that I have read it, I guess I have mixed feelings about it.

Hill Giants: The Hill Giant lair is wide open. The prospect of running it is unnerving as a DM. There’s so many possibilities that you need to be ready for. I just feel like, if your group recruits those orcs downstairs, how the heck are you going to handle that? I mean.. you can’t roll that out.

Frumpy: Something doesn’t sit right with me when it comes to the descriptions of the giants. Here’s the description of “Frupy,” the fire giant king’s wife:

“She is, if anything, uglier than Snurre. Topped by a huge mass of yellow-orange hair that looks like a fright wig, Queen Frupy’s face is a mass of jowls and wrinkles set in the middle of a very large head that seems to grow directly out of her shoulders without the benefit of any neck. Her body is lumpy and gross, her skin covered with bristles the color of her hair. Her little pig eyes, however, are bright, suggesting intelligence unusual in a giant.”

First of all, there are plenty of us D&D players who have a low charisma (comeliness) and a high BMI. When I run into descriptions like this and then I think about who I’m running the game for, I have to change them because the game is not about insulting the people at the table.

Second, this description basically says, “Man, this chick is ugly. She’s so gross.” There’s too much emphasis on the way she looks rather than the threat that she’s supposed to be. Even her name is insulting. It’s one letter away from “Frumpy.” It feels like all that matters is how the female looks, when in the game it’s almost completely inconsequential. She’s there to be laughed at by all of the “physically perfect” men playing the game of Dungeons & Dragons.

I think this description should have been cut from the book or changed to something else. 

Frost Giants: The Frost Giant lair is pretty great, but I just don’t get the rift. Where am I walking? How do I get down there? This might just be my own poor reading comprehension skills, but it was a thing for me.

Fire Giants: The Fire Giant Hall is really cool. I love how you fight the king right away. Then you wade through the complex to find the real mystery villain of the scenario. I think they did a stellar job with the 5e version of the temple. It is really fun, really crazy.

I love the dragon, I wish a little more detail/personality had been given to it. The big problem with this fire giant section is that the dungeon is just way too big. It’s a quagmire and I can see most groups zoning out for entire sessions while they fight ropers and gnolls.

Agony: This adventure was such a pain to prepare. It was horrible. There is so much stuff to look up, it’s ridiculous. So many poisons, items, monsters, and of course the slimes, which is the most annoying thing to find in 5th edition except swimming/underwater rules.

You definitely need to know that Against the Giants is a real project to prepare. It really does feel like it takes more time to prepare it than to just make your own giant lair, and it shouldn’t be like that.

Tomb of Horrors

I always had a lot of trouble with the 1e version. Things were explained and worded in a very confusing manner. It was a cool dungeon, but it was difficult for me to grasp the more complex areas.

This 5th edition version fixes that completely. Completely! I remember the juggernaut being this big thing, complete with art (and it looked weird) and all these details. In 5e, the juggernaut is one sentence. And it works so much better. Amazing!

Preparing this one was a joy. It took awhile, but I didn’t mind because none of the rooms were that big, there was very little to look up (seriously) and things were described very succinctly. They didn’t change the adventure, they just vastly improved on the presentation.

General Thoughts
 
The Usual: I have the same complaints I always have with these adventures, and the same caveat – if this approach to how they make and present their adventures is working (and I think it is, big time) then they should keep doing it. I don’t like it, but apparently most other people are fine with it.

I really don’t like how you have to look everything up. Every monster, every magic item, every spell. The DM has more homework running a published adventure then just making it up their own. The whole point of a published adventure is so you don’t have to put in a lot of work! I’m paying $50 for homework? When I say homework, I mean a book report that will take you weeks to get a good grade on.

On top of that, they make it hard to look stuff up by not telling you the page number, they tell you the chapter instead. It’s maddening. Finding poison, suffocation and slimes is always annoying. In addition to that, you have the magic items that duplicate the effect of a spell, which you then have to look up because they don’t explain it in the entry.

The Art


I have the same feelings as I usually do when it comes to the art. It’s all good, but nothing is “holy crap” good. There is no modern Larry Elmore. I mean, there is, but that person is not making art for D&D stuff.

If you go on deviantart right now, you will find a pile of incredibly awesome fantasy art. There is a mind-boggling amount of truly talented and inspired artists out there who are making fantasy art for free, just because they love doing it. I don’t get why they are not being hired.

That’s not to say that this stuff is terrible at all. Across the board, the level of quality is high. If you look at, say, the 2e Player’s Handbook, you’ll see art that is really great and other art that is really not-so-great. In 5th edition, we have a consistent level of quality, but it seems like there’s a ceiling when it comes to good art. I still think the best 5e art is the landscape art, which is really weird.

The Maps

It’s hard to talk about D&D maps now in this post-Schley world we live in. Mike Schley is so awesome that you wish he just did all of them. It has gotten to the point where you feel like if you don’t have a Schley map, it’s not a D&D adventure.

Look at the Dead in Thay map. That’s insane. Is that the greatest D&D map of all time? It’s really not fair to compare him to anyone else. He’s been doing this for so long. I would honestly say that I think Mike Schley is the D&D 5e artist.

The Choice of Adventures

I have a beef with the adventure selection. I don’t think that both Sunless Citadel and Forge of Fury should be in this book. They’re from the same path. Both of them were selected instead of including a 4th edition adventure.

Now, I know a lot of people hate 4e, but I also know that there are a bunch of awesome 4e adventures that, in my opinion, are much, much, much better than the citadel or the forge.

I get that they wanted to put adventures in the book that could be played in order. So I was wracking my brain to find a replacement for Forge of Fury (I like the forge better, but sunless is pretty iconic to most 3e fans) and I realized that the adventure that I would have liked in here is Siege of Bordrin’s Watch (I can't believe this, but it is available right now for free on the wizards site).

It’s got a classic theme, it details an awesome city (Overlook) and the final encounter, “The Nexus,” is one that my group talked about for years after they played it. They still bring it up today, almost 10 years later.

I get that converting 4e to 5e is a unique challenge, but I don’t think it’s impossible at all.

There’s other worthy 4e adventures. Let’s stick to dungeons because that’s what this book is all about. I think that Last Breath of the Dragon Queen is superb. That’s Tiamat’s Lair. It’s so inspired and so epic, it would be a great final adventure for this book.

Another adventure that could have/should have been in this book is the 4th edition update of Baba Yaga. The 4e update, unlike the 1e original, actually gives you the finished details (for the love of god, thank you) and it has Mike Schley maps. The 4e version is awesome. It is completely overlooked and it definitely deserves to be in this book.

Also, I should point out that I went through the Chris Perkins 4e version/update of Against the Giants and it is fantastic. I really do want to convert it to 5th, I’m just worried about dungeon fatigue.

Paizo Stuff: I am very tired of the remakes of the 1e adventures. There are so many gems in other editions that are completely unheralded. From what I understand, the Paizo stuff won’t be used for legal reasons, but I can think of a bunch of Paizo-era adventures that deserve to be in this book.

The first adventure in The Shackled City is a freaking awesome dungeon. It’s fantastic and it is so well thought-out. Then, further in The Shackled City path is the kuo toa dungeon, which is probably my favorite dungeon of all time.

Now that I think about it, what about Gates of Firestorm Peak? That one is huge and really dense, but that would be a fresh choice to trot out.

While we’re at it, what about Labyrinth of Madness? I have literally waited 20 years to run it. I ran that for some ridiculously powerful characters and they bailed out on that place about 4 rooms in. I’m still waiting to run it again. It is a dungeon in the vein of the 1e classics and it is spectacular. At that time, Monte Cook was on fire. He still is, really. Despite how popular Monte is, I feel like his work is not appreciated as much as it should be.

Why These Adventures were Chosen: I believe that only a few adventures get remade because people haven’t played that many, even people who have been playing D&D for decades. That’s because of a few reasons:
  1. A lot of people don’t play pre-published adventures.
  2. A lot of campaigns fall apart after 6-7 sessions.
  3. It takes people a long time to get through one adventure, especially if they only play once per month. So people haven't played that many.
We have this situation here where there are hundreds of adventures from previous editions which very few people have played. There’s a lot of great stuff that is virtually untouched, and I think now is the time to shine a light on it. There’s all of this D&D lore waiting to be explored and exploited.

People just keep creating new things without implementing the concepts that are already there. To me, it’s a waste. The ingenuity of past designers deserves to be recognized, collected and dissected. It should be incorporated into the overall tapestry of D&D rather than be forgotten.

More Books Like This: Maybe they’ll do another book like this some day that collects adventures that are not dungeon-centric.

I think that if Wizards and Paizo agreed to put out a 5e conversion of Savage Tide or Age of Worms, it would be like a money bomb went off in their pants. Savage Tide is so ridiculously good that I am still picking content out of that Wolfgang Baur adventure (Enemies of my Enemy) a year after I started using it!

Overall 

If you and your group like dungeons, you should get this book. It is nice to take part in scenarios that many D&D players have gone through. You share the experience and have something to discuss and laugh about when you meet new players.

If you don’t like dungeons and you prefer to run a campaign that is more sprawling, event-based and story-driven, there’s a ton of stuff to pull out of this. It’s a good resource when it comes to using or making encounters. Even if you just need a treasure hoard, there’s a bunch of them that are ridiculously detailed in the book.

Thanks for reading! I’ll try and get the “How to Run Tales from the Yawning Portal” done as quick as I can.

How to Run Tales From the Yawning Portal

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I am going to take a stab at two things right here. First I’m going to try and explain this book to people who are new to D&D. Then I’m going to give an example of how to link all of these adventures together and make a campaign out of the whole thing. You can buy Tales From the Yawning Portal right here.

This book is a collection of 7 adventures. They were originally made for previous editions (with different rules). These have all been updated to the 5th edition rules.

Famous: Some of these adventures are very famous in D&D circles. White Plume Mountain is known as a “funhouse” dungeon, a place full of weird and wacky rooms. The Tomb of Horrors is a dungeon full of traps (and almost no monsters at all) designed to kill almost anyone. Gary Gygax himself made this dungeon and it is meant to be the ultimate challenge.

Start with Sunless Citadel: If you are going to start a group, you’ll want to use the Sunless Citadel first. That’s for brand new, 1st level characters. This adventure came out right when 3rd edition was released. 3rd edition was really popular at the time, and a lot of people played it.

It’s a good dungeon for new players and DMs, because it was designed for them. It starts out a bit basic, and grows in complexity as you go on. You begin by entering a dungeon that’s inhabited by feuding kobolds and goblins. At the bottom of the place is a druid and a tree tainted by the blood of a vampire.

Preparing: If this is the first adventure you’ve ever run, you need to read the whole thing. I wrote a guide to this book, and I prepared the adventure as best as I could for you. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you need to look up monsters and stuff beforehand. If you look up everything at the table, everybody will get bored. It is important to be prepared. You want people have fun, not fall asleep or wander away.

You might want to get a piece of paper or something and write down stats for a kobold, goblin, and a twig blight. Also, write down what some spells that are in the adventure do. That way, when you’re running the game, all you have to do is look at that sheet and you can just keep right on going with no break in the pacing.

Also remember that every DM makes mistakes every single session. It’s no big deal. Just roll with it. It doesn’t matter, all that matters is that everyone has fun.

Keeping the Game Moving: If your players are new, certain things can slow the game down. Make sure everybody knows their plus to hit, how much damage they do, their spell attack bonus and the DC for their spells. It gets real old when the same player keeps having to figure out their bonus to hit and it drags the game down.

Setting up the Adventure: Check out the hooks on page 10. You might want to talk with your players before the game to see if they have any ideas as far as their character’s backstory. The missing adventurers could be relatives or mentors to a character. A character might need the magic apple to heal a sick loved one who is going to die soon without it.

If there’s a player that is into vampires, you could play up the story of Gulthias and work that in. What might be cool is to say that if you make a stake out of the wood of the Gulthias Tree, maybe it does special things to vampires. Normally a stake paralyzes them, maybe this obliterates them or turns them into petrified wood or something. Or maybe a character knew Gulthias and through the tree they can get something from Gulthias that they need, like a drop of blood or the answer to a riddle, or the location of a lost family heirloom/magic item.

Meepo: On page 16, there is an NPC named Meepo, who issomething of a famous character. Most people who play this adventure have some weird or funny Meepo story to tell. Sometimes Meepo joins the group and goes on many future adventures with them.

Meepo is an opportunity for you to showcase your style – your brand of D&D. Every DM does something different. Sometimes he’s a traitor, sometimes he’s a coward, sometimes he’s a brave but weak ally. You might want to put some thought into how you want to run Meepo. That’s the cool thing about being a DM, you’re like a director of a movie. Tim Burton would portray Meepo very differently than Quentin Tarantino or Michael Bay. You get to to do whatever you want.

Pacing: This is a big dungeon. It might get boring. Do not be afraid to junk rooms or move things along. If exploring a certain section is becoming a drag, make some of the rooms empty and get to the end of it. There’s no “right” way to run a dungeon. The authors expect you to change it, so don’t feel like you’re doing it wrong. It’s impossible to do it wrong. You can change it however you like.

Forge of Fury: Let’s say you’ve been running your group through a bit of Phandelver from the boxed set, or maybe you’ve just been making stuff up on your own. The group is 3rd level and you want to run the Forge of Fury.

If you can, set it up a bit in advance. While you’re running whatever you’re running before forge, slip in some mentions of the legendary black dragon Nightscale, have someone find one of those ancient dwarven weapons crated by Durgeddin. Maybe you can have the group go to Oakhurst and fight some orc raiders who actually came from the forge.

It’s always good to plant seeds ahead of time if possible. If the group has been hearing about Nightscale the dragon and how terrifying she is, they will be much more pumped up when they actually realize that they are going to have to fight her at the end.

Warn the Players: I also recommend telling your players before they start that the monsters in this place don’t act like monsters in a video game. The whole dungeon will attack them at once if the group isn’t careful. We are specifically telling them this because the very beginning part of this dungeon has a very involved encounter with the orcs, who have a detailed strategy on how they handle intruders. If the group is not careful, they are going to get their asses kicked.

That beginning part is not easy. They’ll need to be quiet, cautious and smart. They probably won’t survive if they just barge in. It’s fair to give them a warning, especially if they are new and don’t understand how the game works. The monsters can do whatever they want just like the characters can. The monsters aren’t tethered to a room.

Pacing: This dungeon is really big and it is likely that it will start to drag and feel stale/boring. Do what you have to do to move past it. Get rid of boring encounters altogether if you think it’s going to make the game suck. The point of the game is to have fun. Bottom line, the players aren’t going to want to play anymore if it’s really boring. Nothing in this book is written in stone, DMs change stuff all the time.

Rivers: The trickiest part of this adventure is the fast-flowing rivers. The explanation is spread out over a few pages and it can be a little tricky understanding how everything fits together. Make sure you get a good handle on that and jot down some notes beforehand if you need to. That river goes from bad to worse and it is very deadly. You want to make sure you run it right, because if a character dies, you don’t want it to be because you forgot something or made a mistake.

Tamoachan: This one is hard to prepare. The details of the rooms are very intricate, you’ll need to set some time aside to make sure you understand how some of the rooms work. It’s very easy to forget that the whole bottom area is full of poison gas, so make sure you note it somewhere if you can. That gas is there in part to put pressure on the players. They can’t just keep taking rests! They’ll die. That’s part of why it’s there, to prevent groups from just taking a long rest after every room.

White Plume Mountain: This is just an epic adventure. If you can, plant legends about the artifacts well ahead of time. Blackrazor in particular is just a ridiculously cool weapon. They’re all extremely powerful. You could have the group hear about these weapons well in advance, maybe the ancestor of a character had Blackrazor and eventually got their own soul sucked out.

Maybe a character is the ancestor of Keraptis, the bad guy who made this dungeon. Snarla the werewolf wizard has always stuck out as a memorable NPC. Maybe the group knew Snarla before she became a werewolf. Maybe you could work that into a prior adventure, where in the end she becomes a werewolf and runs off with Burket (page 101) to the mountain.

Dead in Thay: There’s actually an adventure that sets up Dead in Thay. It’s Scourge of the Sword Coast for D&D Next, which is the playtest version of 5th edition. You might have to change a few things, but it had some cool stuff in it.

Dead in Thay is really big. You might want to streamline it a bit and have the glyph keys take the group to the areas you want to run.

Against the Giants: This is really high level, so I would assume you don’t need advice on this. I think that part of the key to bringing this to life is to make sure you emphasize that the giants are "giant." Their footsteps shake everything, the doorhandles are way up in the air, just getting onto one of their chairs requires a climb check and maybe a rope and grappling hook. Even their loot is gigantic.

Killing them means their massive body falls to the ground, causes a big tremor and kicks up dust. You could say that the group needs to make a DC 10 acrobatics check when a giant dies to see if they fall prone. Also, there’s a chance the dead giant falls on a hero, right?! That would do damage! Dex save DC 10. Fail: 7 damage and restrained? Need a DC 10 escape check to free themselves?

That could add a lot to the game, but make sure that you don’t use it against them. Keep it fair and random. This is meant to impress upon them the “giantness” of the giants, not a weapon to use against them. It’s just something to add to the fun and danger. The uniqueness of battling a giant. The scale of what they’re doing is enormous (ho, ho) and thus they are that much more heroic and impressive when they defeat the giants.

Tomb of Horrors: Technically you could run this for characters of any level. But low level characters have absolutely no chance whatsoever of defeating Acererak. They could, however, get pretty far into the tomb just by being clever and cautious. The thing about this dungeon is that it’s somewhat random and arbitrary. In some cases, you can’t figure out the “rules” of the room because there are no rules. This is a cruel place that messes with your head.

Not For Everyone: Also.. I can’t stress this enough. There are a lot of players who will not enjoy this adventure. There are plenty of D&D players who really hate the lethality and cruelty of this place. To some people, it feels like it’s the DM vs. the players, which is never a fair battle because the DM can do whatever they want. Some players just do not handle it well when their character dies or they suffer some kind of horrid setback (like losing ALL OF YOUR ITEMS and appearing naked at the start of the dungeon).

Nobody wants to lose all their magic items, that does suck. So generally, sending characters who have clawed their way up to 12th level or whatever aren’t a good choice to send here unless the player is cool with it. They need to know that their beloved character is probably going to have horrible, horrible things happen to them.

Some players will love it. Some will hate it. Make sure you know before you decide to run this, because one unhappy player will ruin the entire session. Everybody has to know what they’re getting into and they should definitely be allowed to make up a character to go in rather than use their normal one.

You could have each player make 3 characters, so that way if one dies, they can bring in another one. Or, maybe you could have it where an NPC owes them a wish. That way, if something terrible happens to the group, they can use the wish to undo it and wash their hands of the tomb (or courageously decide to return without the safety net of the wish spell!).

Making a Yawning Portal Campaign

I’m going to take a stab at placing all of these adventures into one cohesive story. It’s just meant to be an example of how you could do it.

Let’s put all this stuff in Undermountain! I mean, why not, the entrance to Undermountain is in the Yawning Portal, right? The one tricky thing here is that it seems a bit unfeasible to put the giant lairs down there. You could, but it doesn’t feel right. The glacial rift in a dungeon underground? We’ll work around it.

First Session: So let’s start off with the group at level one. They are in Waterdeep. It’s entirely up to them if they know each other or not. All that matters is that it’s night time and they happen to be in the same general vicinity.

Suddenly, shouts and explosions. Waterdeep is under attack! The red wizards have gated in to the city and seem to be going after certain targets. So we’ll start off a bit like Hoard of the Dragon Queen started – the heroes are in a settlement under siege.

The tricky thing here is that they’re going to rub elbows with high level bad guys that they have no chance of defeating. We’ll have to be real careful. The true purpose of this is for the players to get a look at all of the bad guys they are going to have to kill in this campaign. We are going to build anticipation so that the group will be extremely excited when they finally get to try to take them down.

1. Twig Blights: The group sees a bark-skinned guy (let’s make this Karakas the Ranger, who is on page 21). The bark-skinned guy orders some twig blights to swarm a lone guard of Waterdeep. The guard has no chance without help. Hopefully the group helps, if not the blights are coming for them next, anyway. If possible, Karakas runs away.

2. Black Dragon: With that done, and hopefully with the guard saved, the group hears the flapping of wings over the screams and clatter ringing throughout the city. There is a black dragon, Nightscale, swooping down toward them! It’s not going for them, it breathes acid on a building. The building partially collapses. The group hears the cries of those still trapped inside. They can try and rescue them before the place collapses completely.

3. Centaur Mummy: With that done, they see a surreal sight. The centaur mummy from Tamoachan is leading a few zombies (the zombies from page 73) toward a band of brave but skill-less citizens trying to protect their city. We should have the mummy touch one of them, so the group can get a look at the mummy rot effect. The group can take down the zombies, they’re just zombies. The mummy has bigger fish to fry and rides off down a street.

4. Wight Wielding Blackrazor: On a rooftop, the group can see a wight wielding Blackrazor (the wielder’s soul has been drained, Blackrazor controls the wight). Guards are coming at Blackrazor, but they’re getting cut down left and right. We want to play up the ridiculous badassery of Blackrazor here.

The group is safe, and they can use range attacks or clever ideas here to help the guards. They could try to knock Blackrazor off the roof, or collapse a portion of the roof. Actually, it might be really cool if the heroes see that the building that Blackrazor is on has a bunch of barrels of elemental fire in it. The store sells magic unguents or residuum or something. They can blow the whole building up with a fire spell or flaming arrow. Blackrazor’s fate is unknown. That would be fun.

5. Red Wizard: At that point, the group’s luck runs out. Tarul Var, the red wizard, come upon the group. He is clearly one of the people in charge of this assault, calmly issuing orders to sub-ordinates. He tells one of them to “Tell the giants to attack.”

Nearby, an old woman is holding the symbol of her god, praying for aid. Tarul Var looks down at her..

The group could hide and observe. If they don’t, Tarul (stats on page 244) can address them. The group is no match for this guy. He can counterspell and paralyze like crazy. He might paralyze one character and then detect thoughts on them, curious.

Whatever happens, suddenly, a shaft of light appears and from it steps a deva. Lumalia (page 153) shows up, answering the woman’s prayer. Lumalia starts kicking ass and urges the group to help, either get the woman to safety or take some some shots at the red wizards.

6. Giants: Whatever the group does, the giants are outside the city and they rush the walls and chuck boulders. A massive boulder hits a building that collapses, kicking up dust everywhere. Any characters who look for her see that Lumalia is down and the wizards have her. She’s gonna be a statue in room 92, page 152.

7. Acererak: Before the group can do anything else, another heroic figure appears – Elminster the legendary wizard. He tells the red wizards to unhand the deva. Tarul Var craps his pants. The group is more than welcome to stand with Elminster and maybe get some shots in or nasty words. But what they don’t know is that this attack is all about drawing out powerful individuals, so that they can be put in the shrines (dead in thay, temples of extraction page 155).

A flash of light appears behind the group. It’s a floating skull with gem eyes. Acererak! The demilich drains Elminster’s soul into a gem. Then perhaps Acererak looks the group over – a chance for them to interact with the ultimate villain of the entire campaign. Then he’ll tell Tarul Var, “We got what we came for” and they all teleport away.

The group can catch their breath, and hear cries from a nearby building – the Yawning Portal. There’s some twig blights in there, twig blighting it up. The group can run in and save the town drunks, earning the appreciation of the owner, the mysterious Durnan (page 6).

As a reward for their help, Durnan can offer the group a room to stay in for free. Let's make it a cool suite kind of thing to maybe entice the group to accept the offer. There’s a few wounded citizens that could use healing. The group can interact with the NPCs here and realize that they can live here if they so desire. They’ll see the well and we’ve got our setup for the campaign.

Yawning Portal: We’re going to have some NPCs, regular customers, here in the Yawning Portal for the group to interact with.
  • Pencheska: She is an entertainer that really likes to drink. The truth – she’s one of the succubus spies who report to Acererak (Pencheska’s in room 5, page 120). We’re going to try to keep her deal secret for a long time, so play it cool. If the group figures it out, good for them! There’s another succubus spy elsewhere in the city. She is Idalla, the dark-haired woman from room 49 on page 56.
  • Endroth Knag: Member of the city watch being pressured to retire. He ponders unresolved cases as he sips ale.
  • The White Lady: An elderly elf wearing plain white robes. She comes in every night and whispers cryptic statements over and over.
  • Brother Sepulcher: A bald priest who wears grey robes and long, white gloves who likes to stare at a skull he keeps with him. He worships Jergal, the exarch of proper burials. Brother Sepulcher likes to record the name and description of each person who enters Undermountain.
  • Old Stannoc: An elderly halfling who is a gambler and odds maker. He tries to evaluate each adventurer before they go down so he can set proper odds.
We should also make it a point to note that the adventurers who went to the Sunless Citadel are:

Karakas the Ranger (pg 21), Talgyn (pg 25), Sharwyn (pg 30, stats pg 242), Sir Braford (pg 30, stats pg 243)

They went into the Yawning Portal well a week ago and haven’t been heard from since. We changed Karakas, so have it where the group does not find his body or his stuff on page 21.

Next Day: The next day, the city is in extreme disarray. The group learns that the bad guys specifically targeted the Harpers ( avast, secret organization of good guys). They killed as many Harpers as possible.

The heroes don’t know this, but Idalla and Pencheska, the succubus spies, have spent the last year identifying as many harpers and harper strongholds that they could. The bad guys want to kill all the heroes to draw out the most powerful heroes so they can stick them in those shrines in the temple of extraction (we’re getting rid of the Chosen and doing this instead).

Meeting: All adventuring types of the city are gathered together. The giant army must be defeated. Durnan knows more than most (he’s practically immortal). He knows the real problem is down in Undermountain, not out in the giant lairs. Their lairs aren’t too far from Waterdeep. It’s assumed that the red wizards are operating from there as well. If the group goes to the gathering, they are not accepted as part of the giant-slaying force. If you want, have Acquisitions Inc be there, ready to lead the charge.

The point here is to answer the question of “why are we dealing with this rather than higher level heroes in the city?” All NPC heroes of level 3 and higher are out hunting the giant army or are following orders to guard and protect the city. Nobody is going to indulge Durnan’s wacky ideas. And anyway, Durnan knows the deal. He knows the group can do it, that’s how this adventuring thing works.

Durnan's Story: Durnan tells the heroes that he once went down into Undermountain (he was in there for two years). He faced off with Acererak – he tried to get into Acererak’s tomb alongside his friend Mirt. Durnan says that the tomb was like hell. They entered a hallway full of horrible traps. They came into a series of rooms where darts kept flying at them. They had no choice but to flee. Let’s have Durnan show the group his scars. His chest is covered with over a dozen holes/scars.

We’re saying here that the Tomb of Horrors is so deadly that Durnan and Mirt only made it through the first area, and then they had to run away. That way, when the group gets there, they’ll say: “This is that hallway. Oh no.” And they’ll be looking for the darts, which is good because that area is really brutal and they deserve a warning.

Black Gates: Durnan explains that Undermountain operates through glyphs and glyph keys. These are from Dead in Thay, we’ll use them throughout the whole campaign. We’ll put black gates in every dungeon in this book. This is how Acererak and Tarul Var communicate and coordinate with their allies.

Durnan urges the group to go down below. He offers up some of his old gear – an ancient +1 sword (with the seal of Durgeddin from forge of fury on it), maybe some dust of disappearance or something, and two potions of healing. He tells them that he has a friend in Downshadow who can help them.

The group goes down below. The patrons cheer and bet on whether the group will survive. The group is free to bet on themselves.

Downshadow: Downshadow is this collection of poor people who live in Undermountain close to the well. They are detailed in a number of places, including a novel and this issue of Dungeon magazine.

Let’s stick an NPC linked to each dungeon here so the group can get clues and learn a little about them if they want.
  • (Sunless Citadel) Bianca: A woman who was a thrall of the vampire Gulthias and misses him. She’s crazy, creepy and spaced out. She still has the fang marks on her neck and she wears gothic clothes.
  • (Forge of Fury) Shakla: A half-orc who abandoned the orcs in the forge of fury. She is quite happy in Downshadow
  • (Tamoachan) Xiyatyl: A mysterious woman who claims that her parents, Cipactonal and Oxomoco, have been asleep for centuries and she is waiting for them to wake up. Then, it will be her turn to sleep. Her parents are the sleepers in room 22, page 75. We should have it where she plays Pelota (page 78) with the scamps and sad sacks of Downshadow. Any characters who take the time to learn the game and play a bit should get special bonuses once they get to room 29 of Tamoachan.
  • (White Plume) Geddi: A dwarf with horrible burn scars. She once wielded Whelm, but it was taken from her by Nix and Nox, the efreeti of White Plume Mountain. She suffered permanent injuries and now spends her time beating people in drinking competitions. She is a direct descendant of Durgeddin and is the rightful owner of the Forge of Fury.
  • (Dead in Thay) Bart the Beggar: Let's say that Bart was a red wizard who really didn't like the things that were happening in the Doomvault, so here he hides. Maybe he has a glyph key?
  • (Against the Giants) Ruby: A powerful, red-haired half-giant. She’s an unwanted daughter of King Snurre. She also likes it in Downshadow and is the unofficial protector.
  • (Tomb of Horrors) Adenian: An ancient elf who went into the tomb of horrors and has never gotten over it. He’s shellshocked still, muttering about a green devil face. When he trances, he has flashbacks. Every time the group visits him, he gives them another clue to the tomb of horrors. We’re going to use him to help the group get through that adventure. He should tell them that they NEED the gem of seeing from the gargoyle statue and he’ll hand them 10 gems. He'll also tell them to make sure to extinguish all fire near the adamantine doors and that healing the doors is the key, and do not approach the lava pit - there is nothing there but death. Add more, whatever things you think the group might need to know. It’s up to them to take this advice, but we want to give them a real chance to get through the tomb. It would suck for this campaign to end in a TPK and we want to help them in a way that doesn’t feel contrived. This way makes sense. Adenian survived the tomb. He can give them clues.
Then a few utility NPCs:

Shara Shaana, cleric of Amaunator. She can heal the group, maybe.

Izzy the Appraiser, an elderly gnome. He can appraise stuff and identify magic items.
Let’s say that the group has to pass through Downshadow to get to the Sunless Citadel.

Sunless Citadel: So the group goes to the sunless citadel, goes through all that stuff. Maybe you should change the white dragon wyrmling to a black dragon – it’s the spawn of Nightscale, of the forge of fury.

The heroes defeat the druid and the tree. They see a black gate down there. The druid has a glyph key. Durnan or Bart of Downshadow can explain how it works. It leads to the Forge of Fury.

Resting: I would say that when the group sleeps at the Yawning Portal after this, bark-skinned Karakas the Ranger tries to kill them in their sleep. How did he get up the well? Pencheska. The group won’t know this for a while, ideally.

The next day, the giants and Nightscale the black dragon attack Waterdeep again. Nightscale is here to take out to take out some straggler Harpers and to hopefully draw out another powerful hero that they can put in a shrine in the temple of extraction. It works.. this time they get Farideh the tiefling warlock, the star of the Brimstone Angels novels.

Durnan: If we can, let’s also show a clue that Durnan is really old and potentially really powerful. Maybe they notice him lifting something that only someone with giant-strength could lift.

Also, let’s establish that Pencheska is the one who operates the winch that raises and lowers people in the well. She just likes doing it. That’s true, but we’re setting it up for her to sabotage this thing later in the campaign.


We go through the forge of fury. Epic battle with Nightscale. When Nightscale dies, try not to mention her bones. We are hoping that the bad guys can make an undead dragon out of her. If the players mention her corpse at all, we should say that her hide has been mangled by their spells and blades and there’s no dragon parts left worth harvesting, except maybe the heart and eyes. The hide is too damaged to make armor out of.

Remember, if the group ever comes here again – the corpse is gone. The bad guys have stolen the remains of Nightscale. They’re animating her and making her the guardian of the Phylactery Vault.

Once the group has slain the dragon.. now they have the attention of the bad guys. The group also finds a deed that shows that Geddi of Downshadow is truly the rightful heir to the forge. If they give it to her, she gathers up dwarves from Waterdeep and starts the forge back up, perhaps making weapons and equipment for the group.

We find another glyph key and black gate. That one leads to strange caverns which ultimately lad to Tamoachan.

Back at the Inn: At the Yawning Portal, the group has a visitor. It is a beautiful, silver-haired woman named Elia. She is secretly a silver dragon named Otaaryliakkarnos. She works with the Council of Waterdeep, and she got word that the group took out Nightscale. She hated Nightscale, is impressed and wants to get a look at the heroes and see exactly what they are doing down in Undermountain.

But right when the heroes have made friends with her (or whatever), there is a ruckus. Yup, the bad guys are back. It is Blackrazor, Nix and Nox, and more of those tamoachan zombies. Elia assumes her dragon form to fight them off. Maybe the group takes out the zombies and fights a few terrifying rounds with Blackrazor. Then, once again, Acererak appears and draws the soul of the silver dragon. Mission accomplished – they are teleported away.

At this point, Bart of Downshadow is looking for the group. He wants to admit to them that he knows the plan of the red wizards. But before he can get to them, Pencheska kisses him and kills him. The group will find his shriveled corpse and can be told that he wanted to talk to them.

Tamoachan: Then we go through Tamoachan. In that room on page 91, if you sit on the throne, you have visions of the past. Let’s have it where the character who sits on it sees an ancestor, a hireling alongside Mirt and Durnan. This is over 1,000 years ago. The character watches them dig out an entrance to the tomb of horrors (one of the false ones). Then the vision is over.

At the end of Tamoachan, another glyph key, another black gate. Each black gate takes us down a level of Undermountain.

Durnan's Story: At this point, the group might question Durnan. He’s got quite a story. Maybe he spills the beans and confesses that he became immortal through a wish granted to him by an efreet (one of the trapped efreeti in Dead in Thay).

A messenger enters the Yawning Portal looking for the group. Their presence is requested right away at the town square or something. It turns out that a solar (angel) has come to Waterdeep looking for Lumalia, the deva. The group can explain what happened to her.

Recognition: At this point, there is a crowd and Waterdeep officials here. The ruler of Waterdeep, Lady Laerel Silverhand is here as well. She is very powerful in her own right. We have a discussion where Laeral realizes that the group is a bunch of badasses and that they are on the right track. So the whole city knows now that the group killed Nightscale and they might be the city’s best hope to end these attacks. The beautiful Idalla is nearby. She tries to catch the eye of one of the heroes. She’s the other succubus spy, and she knows that the group needs to die.

Suddenly… a portal opens up and a horde of bad guys pour through. It’s a chaotic melee in the square. Red Wizards everywhere, Nix and Nox, Blackrazor. The group can fight some wizards, or Blackrazor. Don’t worry too much if the group grabs Blackrazor. We can just have it injure and reject the wielder, but do it in a way where it is clear that Blackrazor could change its mind down the road.

White Plume Mountain: OK.. time for White Plume. It’s underground. In Undermountain. It’s an underground volcano, I guess. Who cares, it’s an awesome dungeon.

The group goes through White Plume Mountain. If the wight wasn’t destroyed, we can have it be in the room with Ctenmiir. The group loots the place and defeats the bad guys. Another glyph key, another black shrine.

Whelm: Whelm wants to defend the forge of fury. That’s what it did long ago. The group can hand it over to Geddi, or they can keep it. A character in the group gets Wave, the artifact nobody in my groups ever wanted.

As the group returns from their successful mission and are heading down the tunnel to the well that leads up to the Yawning Portal, they pass by a weird thing – a panther. It’s a famous panther, but they probably won’t know that.

Trap: The spies have laid a trap. Idalla is ethereal at the bottom of the well. Pencheska operates the winch and cranks the heroes up. But she’s pre-sabotaged it. Once the group is up 120 feet of the 140-foot well, the rope snaps. The heroes plummet and take 12d6 dmg, or none if someone has feather fall or a clever idea. The idea here is that they fall and then Idalla surprises those who are still conscious, and kisses them to death.

We have a failsafe here. The panther is owned by a fellow named Drizzt Do’Urden, the famous drow adventurer. If necessary, he emerges from the shadows and helps them fend off and defeat Idalla the succubus.

Durnan can fix the winch and attach a new rope. He’ll get the group up in no time. Pencheska will act sad and will bolster the idea that Idalla must have messed with the winch. She sees Driz’zt, her eyeballs explode and she knows Acererak needs to get here ASAP. But she’s got to play it cool for at least a few hours to smooth things over, if necessary.

Drizzt: Drizzt wants to sit down with the group and go over what they know. He can commend the group on the work they’ve done. He’ll be incredibly alarmed if one of the group has Blackrazor, but hey it’s a cool item. Let’s have the panther, Guenhwyvar, befriend a hero, preferably a ranger or druid. It will provide a handy clue for them soon.

The group probably knows the deal by now. Acererak is going to snatch Drizzt. So let’s let them think that and do something goofy.

Sylvanna: Let’s introduce Sylvanna, the rebel red wizard. She’s against what Tarul Var and Acererak are attempting. She meets with the group covertly in some dark location of Waterdeep. Unfortunately, she’s being watched. Portal opens, in comes the red wizards and that adult red dragon from the Hall of the Fire Giant King!

The roof gets blown off the place if necessary. The group is in an epic battle. They see something in the night sky flying towards them.. then, nearby, Acererak appears. Oh no, he’s going to get the soul of Drizzt! Wait, that thing in the sky is the Acquistions, Inc airship. Jim Darkmagic flings a bunch of autographed portraits and gets ready to launch spells. Acererak assumes Jim is a powerful wizard, sucks his soul, and the bad guys bail out. Acererak is soon after disappointed in Jim, but sticks him in a shrine anyway.

During the battle, let’s have Drizzt really get his butt kicked. The dragon breathes on him, all sorts of stuff. The rest of Acquisitions inc, Drizzt and the group go back to the Yawning Portal. The Acq Inc guys talk about the giants a bit. They foreshadow Snurre and the Frost Giant Jarl.

Dead in Thay: Now it’s time for the big one. Dead in Thay. In our version, the Doomvault is acquiring souls for Acererak, not Szass Tam. Acererak is the one trying to become a god. Remember that Pencheska is not down here, so take her out of the room.

The group will have the chance to rescue Lumalia from her fate as a statue. If they do, she’ll join them and become a trusted ally.

Wish: The heroes can free the efreet who made Durnan immortal. I say the efreet offers the group one wish as per the spell, with one additional choice: One of them can become immortal like Durnan. This doesn’t mean they can’t be hurt, it means they don’t age anymore. Let’s say that the efreet can only grant this wish once every 500 years, as per the orders of the Sultan of the City of Brass. The Sultan reviews all granted wishes issued by the efreeti and he’s already to be angry that this efreet didn’t put a sinister twist when granting this wish, but will let it go because the red wizards dared to enslave a mighty genie.

The heroes get to rescue all the NPCS – Elminster, Farideh, Laerel Silverhand, Elia, and Jim Darkmagic. They’re all drained and weak, and they will be for some time.

The end is tricky. We can’t have Acererak die in the Phylactery Vault. He’s the bad guy at the end of the Tomb of Horrors. So in the final fight, we'll have the opponent be Nightscale, who has been made into an undead dragon!! Now we’re talking, right?! She could be a skeletal dragon, a ghost dragon, whatever.

The group might wonder why Acererak isn’t here. They’ll find out when they get back to the Yawning Portal.

Return to the Inn: When they get home, the heroes find the place to be trashed. A huge fight took place and there are dead bodies all over. Acererak finally realized the best time to steal NPC souls is when the group is busy in a dungeon. He attacked, maybe with the red dragon again.

The group spots Pencheska leaning over Drizzt’s body. What’s she doing? Kissing him! Draining his lifeforce! The group finally sees that she is a succubus spy. They need to stop her right now before Drizzt is dead forever.

After the fight, the group might wonder where Durnan is. He’s in one of Acererak’s gems. There are no more shrines because the group cleared the Doomvault. That means that Durnan is just an eternal prisoner in the gems of Acererak. The only way to save him is to take down Acererak.

So there’s two things left to do. Take down the giants and then go destroy Acererak for good. The group learns that the giants are the only ones with a glyph key to the Tomb of Horrors.

Against the Giants: We go through against the giants. We can change the notes from Eclavdra to Acererak if you want. We can just take the drow out of the final adventure – the dungeon’s way too big, anyway. Or, if you want, keep them in. Maybe they’re looking to finish what Acererak started.

The group kills the giants, kills Snurre, and finds the glyph key and a black gate in the lair of the red dragon.

Tomb of Horrors: The group can use any black gate to go to the tomb. When they’re ready, they go. They brave the tomb of horrors and hopefully destroy Acererak and shatter his gems. Hopefully with the clues Adenian was giving out, the group can survive the most deadly traps. They can rescue Durnan, go back to Waterdeep and be hailed as heroes.

Maybe this incident has spurred something in Durnan. He wants to wander again. He hands over ownership of the Yawning Portal to one or all of the heroes.

There you go! Remember, that's the initial plan. The group will do things that will adjust everything. You'll also have awesome ideas as the campaign goes on, so you can add those in. Remember that nothing is written in stone until it is said aloud at the game table.

Good luck! I hope your games go well.


Planescape: Blood War VIII. The Blood Storm

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It’s always cool when things go in a direction that you didn’t expect. In this session, the dice decided that there would be a change of plans and the players also decided that one of the next few sessions needs to be about achieving a goal that is important to them.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard 

We picked up where we left off last time. The group was sailing on the River Styx. They had just messed with Lilith and freed all of her prisoners – clerics and paladins of good gods.

The heroes got as far as Phlegethos (the 4th layer of Hell) when she caught up with them. Malcanthet, Lilith’s succubus rival, was psychically linked to Bidam. Once Lilith understood that, she realized that the group had been charmed.

She dispelled the charm and forced the group to hand over her whip and explained that the chaotic energy of the halo had motivated her again. She realized she was one step away from ruling the 7th layer of Hell. So in a way, the group did her a favor. She made them throw the halo in the Pit of Flame that they happened to be passing by. Then she left.

Sigil


Back in Sigil, we did a whole bunch of downtime stuff with their businesses. There’s a modron and a talking cat in charge of the financials and the day-to-day operations of their festhalls. They went over a bunch of things:

New Employee: Last week Jessie insisted that there needs to be a cow lady who has udders, so this week introduced Mastitia Bovary, a big cow lady who talks like Lunchlady Doris. She’s going to help with the paperwork.

Perks: They decided to give their employees vacation time, and are going to use their two mansions in the plane of elemental earth as a vacation destination. The employees are starting to get competitive offers from other festhalls, so the group wanted to fix things up a bit to make sure they didn’t lose any workers.

Employee Reviews: Then the group did employee reviews, which was hilarious but probably not something fit for print. Theran was thoroughly exhausted and sustained an injury due to an employee rolling a 1 at the worst possible time, but in the end the employees who performed poorly were giving workshops run by the employees who scored the best.

Downtime Playtest: That took a long time in real life. Once done, we took a stab at using the new playtest downtime rules. These rules are slightly more involved than the ones in the DMG, but ultimately they were not nearly detailed enough for me. I guess these rules are made for people to do stuff between sessions so they don’t really work the way I want them to.

Even so, some of the categories have almost nothing to to them. Training just has one tiny little chart detailing things that go wrong. That’s just not enough to go on, you need more than that.

We tried it anyway:

Bidam: He did some carousing in the Lady’s Ward the rich part of town. He paid 500 gp and actually rolled a complication. His result: He promised to go on a quest. I dug out an NPC from Faces of Sigil who is linked to Fell the fallen dabus. While drunk, Bidam actually swore that he would try to get the Lady of Pain to forgive Fell. That should lead to fun stuff.

Theran: We did the craft a magic item thing. Theran was making a rope of climbing. The first thing I noticed is that it takes so long to make a magic item. It just feels like nobody’s ever going to do it. It takes one year just to make a rare item. A year! How many campaigns last a year in game time? Not many.

He needed a hair from an annis hag. They hunted one down (these hags skin babies, not cool) and the hag almost hugged Tibba, their swashbuckler sidekick, to death. But Theran killed the hag with a series of lightning bolts that destroyed the hag and the hut. He got the hair he needed.

I feel the need to completely revamp these rules because they just don’t work for my style. I use downtime in the game, it’s a big part of my campaign and these rules aren’t meant to be used the way I want to use them.

Allagash: Then the group checked in at Bidam’s demon-making farm. This time, they had produced a unique demon named Phenex. He’s from the Teratic Tome, he likes to eat creatures and he attracts ghosts who swirl around him. He’s a cool guy.

Tornbend: Then the group checked out Theran’s earthmote in the Abyss. They had sent some Agonist (new type of demon) spies to Samora, the settlement that my Trump NPC rules. His name is Gonard Flumph. The Agonist reported to Theran, and gave the group some new info. It’s stupid, but here it is:
  • Gonard has a new wife. Her name is Mel Narnia.
  • They have a kid, who was immediately declared to be a Baron. So.. he’s Baron Flumph.
  • The Agonists also learned that Flumph was being propped up by a mysterious demon lord, who has provided resources and ideas to keep Flumph in power.
  • Also, Flumph liked to communicate via magic mouth spells. Throughout the city, mouths would appear on walls and utter dumb proclamations that were no longer than 25 words or 140 characters.
My Trump NPC has been waging a sort of propaganda war against the group. Last week, the group killed his son, Gonard Flumph, jr. and made him Theran’s zombie servant.

Retaliation: This week, Flumph upped the ante. He made a missile strike! A meteor swarm, to be exact. The group doesn’t know this, but Flumph got a simulacrum of Iggwilv to cast the spell. You can cast it from up to a mile away! It does 20d6 fire and 20d6 bludgeoning!

Bidam survived, Theran did not. None of the buildings were destroyed, but they were damaged and the tieflings who lived in Tornbend died.

Bidam revived Theran using his… urine of positive energy.. and a magic mouth appeared on a wall. It proceeded to tweetsay: “Tornbend is looking for trouble. If Graz’zt decides to help, that would be great. If not, we will solve the problem without him. Samora!”

The group declared that they wanted to go kill Gonard Flumph for good. We’re going to do that in one of the next few sessions. So I’ll have to come up with the D&D equivalent of Steve Bannon and Breitbart, the biased and failing mainstream media (who I guess would be praising the meteor swarm strike), and we’ll definitely need to work in the pee pee tape somehow.

I kind of don’t want them to kill Flumph because I enjoy working the Trump stories of the week into the campaign, but I don’t want to cheat them out of their revenge. If there’s some way to defeat him without killing him, I will definitely throw that out there. Maybe he can take take the group to the D&D equivalent of Mar a Lago and schmooze them over 18 rounds of golf.

The Plain of Infinite Portals


Then it was time for the actual adventure. The group and the devil army had taken a layer of the Abyss called Onstrakkar’s Nest. It has a portal to the first layer of the Abyss, which has a bunch of names, including Pazunia and the Plain of Infinite Portals.

From that layer, you can get to almost any other abyssal layer, including Thanatos. Thanatos is the layer that the devils want to take. The pit fiend general secretly wants to rule that layer, betray the devils and become a demon lord. The group knows this and is helping him.

March Through the Abyss: So the heroes led thousand of devils – legion devils, shocktroop devils and hell knights – on a march through the first layer of the Abyss. It was a dim, barren plain with red dust and bone powder swirling about. A bloated red sun hung in the sky. The land was dotted with holes in the ground (portals), iron fortresses (homes of powerful demons) and lakes of molten iron (which are used to make the iron fortresses).

They marched for hours. To their right was the Abyssal Rift, a massive chasm that supposedly had no bottom. A weird yellow and red mist swirled in it, preventing them from seeing too far down.

Their luck ran out. A demon army came at them from the side, so that the devils’ backs were to the chasm. This army was led by Pazuzu, the demon lord who rules this layer of the Abyss.
 
Pazuzu

I cooked up his army based on some info from his Demonomicon entry and monster I thought would fit. So he had Abyssal ants, Demon harpies (Harpies and Pazuzu, seems like they go together IMO), demon birds, and demon rocs. I had been thinking of having the group fight a roc, but I looked at their stats and they are way too powerful. I decided to leave that for some other time, possibly never.

The harpies flew forward and began singing, charming a massive portion of the army, who ran to them, swooning. Bovina failed her save and was among the throng.

Bidam tried to use his horn of blasting, but he finally rolled low. It exploded.

Theran launched a fireball into the massive swarm of hundreds of harpies, injuring a great many of them. Other harpies flew at those who weren’t charmed and attacked. The group mopped the floor with their harpies, with Bidam cutting one in half with his word of sharpness and Theran dropping the other two with a lightning bolt.

Then, a wave of abyssal ants charged forward, tearing into the devils and pressing them to the edge of the rift. Again, the group slaughtered the enemies near them.

Codricuhn


Suddenly, both armies were blindsided. Long ago they’d learned of an entity called Codricuhn, a giant demon who was climbing up the abyssal rift. Supposedly, once Codricuhn got to the top, he would destroy all of the abyss and maybe all of creation.

So wouldn’t you know it, Codricuhn made it to the top right at this inconvenient time!. He’s surrounded by a massive storm. Theran got sucked into it and was swirling around, orbiting Codricuhn along with many flailing devils and harpies. He was hurt and tried to eat a goodberry, but it blew out of his hand due to the powerful vortex winds.

Codricuhn grabbed the ground, trying to pull itself fully out of the rift. Doing so caused massive cracks in the ground, earthquake-like rifts that devils began falling into. Codricuhn raised his other hand, grabbed dozens of devil and harpies and flung them into the rift.

The group was panicked. They had no idea where Bovina was, or if she was even still alive. Theran reached into his shirt to try to activate his jar with Lord Stillborn in it. With that jar, he can teleport to his throne room in Tornbend. He had to make a roll to see if it blew out of his hand. He made the roll!

He vanished. He was safe in his throne room.

But Bidam was in big trouble. A massive rift opened up beneath him. He fell in, but was able to grab onto the side after falling about 2 feet.

His wife, the demon lord Bazuuma, had sensed his panic through their ring of joining. She appeared, saw Codricuhn, and fired her 20 eye rays at him. She was joined by the group’s friend, Bechard the demon whale.

Bidam caught a glimpse of them, but there was no way to get their attention. He was unable to climb up due to bad rolls. Then, the rift shook as Codricuhn caused tremors. Bidam failed his save (he rolled a 2) and fell. He rolled again to grab the side of the wall. He rolled a 3. Bidam fell into darkness.

We had to stop there. We were out of time, and also I need to think about what happens now.

First of all, Bidam has the armor of invulnerability. He can activate it and become immune to non-magical damage. So if he falls, activates it and then he hits the ground, does he take damage? It’s non-magical so I think he does now, but how do you explain that? Even if he has a force field around him, he’s still hitting the ground with great force. I don’t know how to flavor it.

Second, we’ve done an adventure where the group goes through the interior of an abyssal layer. It’s like going through the organs of someones body and contains all of the demons who tried to take over the layer and failed. I could have Bidam go through that.

I should note that Bidam also has a jar attuned to Allagash, his demon farm in Azzagrat. I'm not sure if Bidam will use it or not.

I could have Bidam fall out the side and plunge into the abyssal rift. He’s falling and falling, and, like a parachuter who hasn’t released their chute yet, he can sort of glide about in the air. In the side of the Abyssal rift are portals to abyssal lairs. So.. he could be falling, and glide in to a random Abyssal layer.

That last option seems like the most fun to me, but it will mean that the group is split up, at least for a time. I don’t think it will take too long for Theran to use magic to locate Bidam, but there will be some time to do encounters and things.

The other thing is with Bovina, the Cowlady. And Drokkarn, the pit fiend general! What happened to them? Did they fall in the rift? Did they die? Are they captured by Pazuzu?

One other thing I should note. Pazuzu is Bazuuma’s ex-boyfriend. This was actually established in the Blackmoor campaign I ran at the game store years ago. Bazuuma used to live in the Plain of Infinite Portals, she knows this place very well.

It seems to me that the most interesting idea is to have Drokkarn and Bovina be imprisoned by Pazuzu. Then the group can go to Pazuzu’s place and rescue them, which should be a lot of fun. In the end, maybe they can get Bazuuma to convince Pazuzu to let the devils march (although that’s a pretty ridiculous request) through sly flirtation.

I had planned on having Pazuzu get a look at Bazuuma in her fully-realized demon lord form, and it’s like seeing an ex-girlfriend who got her stuff together and she looks really good. He’d want her back. That seems like a funny thing to do, and interesting to see what Bidam’s reaction is to it.

So it was a very fun session. We're on a real nice roll. Even though it's been something like 70 sessions, it still feels like we've barely scratched the surface.

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 44 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 44: Animals in Heat
Holly made a puppet of her cranium rat and it attaches to her shoulder. I don't know how she does this stuff, it's really great.

The Party

(Anna) Juniper - Mouse
(ProJared) Waffles - Baby Owlbear
(Holly) Mr. Stinky - Cranium Rat

Last Time, the Waffle Crew got cornered by a pair of Fire Giants. Their animal sidekick fled in terror. In this session, the players play as their animals.

The animals can communicate as long as they are within 30 feet of Mr. Stinky, due to his telepathic powers. Stinky is always angry.

I would like to see how Chris runs a cranium rat hive. They all share a single mind. Does that mean that the entire hive in Sigil has a personality like Mr. Stinky? I think that would be pretty funny.

They're in a vent. They come to an intersection. Holly and Anna are always worried about Waffles dying. Jared trolls them by claiming that today is the day that Waffles is going to "heroically sacrifice" himself.

Juniper is plump and doesn't exercise much. She climbs on Stinky and takes a nap. They smell food. It is coming from a room nearby. Stinky and Juniper go in through a grate.

Six Goblins enter the room. The group bails out and goes back into the vents.

They're in a tunnel... there's a light a ways off. It is making squishy noises. They want no part of this.

The group flees to the kitchen where goblins are working. The group hides in an overturned bowl and try to creep across the room.

After a bit of wandering, they hear a really loud clanging noise. They decide they want to find the Waffle Crew. They end up in a vent heading toward a grate connected to a room.

In the room is Paultin, who is sleeping or unconscious. Next to him is the dao (earth genie) and the golem. Something is trying to bash the door to the room open.

Stinky doesn't like Paultin. Juniper wants to go to him, figuring Evelyn will find him. Nope.. they leave him to his fate.

They end up in a hallway and they are spotted by a hell hound. Good gawd. Anna tells Chris to think long and hard before he kills Waffles.

Oh no.. a second hell hound. Roll initiative! The hell hounds charge down the hallway.

Stinky stays in the hall while the other two scamper into the vents. Stinky uses his mental powers to try convince them a demon is coming. They slow down and circle Stinky. They don't buy it.

He tries to flee, but one of them puts a paw on Stinky's tail. Stinky bites the paw and is able to scramble into the vent. Waffles distracts them and they all flee into the vents.

They are rolling incredibly high today. It's all 19's and 20's.

A hell hound breathes fire into the vent! Waffles rolls a natural 20 on his save! They evade the flames.

They escape the Hell hounds and end up on the bucket/conveyer belt thing. It takes them through the room with the massive golem parts. The players call it a mech and consider checking it out, but they keep riding along.

They see that this bucket journey ends with orcs smashing the contents to pieces, so they bail out.

Waffles sniffs the air to find Strix, who is very smelly. Waffles rolls a natural 20. Maybe Waffles should throw Diath's daggers.

Stinky ends up on the "mech" and it doesn't go well. Stinky is pinned in the machinery inside the mech. The hell hounds are here, at the base of the mech.

Waffles climbs in and gets stuck. Juniper goes in and pushes a lever, but she is too weak to move it. She gets a piece of cable, wraps around it and hands it to waffles, who pulls.

The whole thing falls over, crushing the hell hounds. Stinky rolls bad, but lives! Chris point out that everyone in the complex hears this noise.. and that's where we stop.

Overall

I was quite leery when I heard about the premise of this episode. I felt like it would be a waste of a session. As it went, I liked it more and I think that Chris found some cool things for them to do. Ironslag is a good place to do an adventure like this. The mech, the bucket chain and the hell hounds added a lot. I can't believe I didn't think of the hell hounds as foils. It was pretty perfect.

This episode brought me back to things I saw as a kid (a parakeet literally flew into our house and we kept it, but that's another story). There are two movies that I saw when I was really young that basically fueled my interest in D&D: The Dark Crystal and The Secret of Nimh. Nimh in particular made a huge impact on me. Years later, as a pre-adolescent DM, I ripped off everything from that movie a few times over. I always tried to capture the coolness of Nicodemus and the interior of the thorn bush, but I never got too close.

Good show! Different, but worth seeing, I think.

Dungeons & Dragons - Downtime Playtest

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A few weeks ago, they posted a new version of the downtime rules right here. I tried it out with my Planescape players and I figure we'll go over these rules and see what we think. You can get the original carousing rules right here.

These rules don't really work for me, but I like a lot of the ideas.

It might work for you, though. I love downtime. Downtime is a huge part of some of my campaigns. For whatever reason, the most rich and enjoyable part of my sessions are the time that the group spends in town and I get to further all sorts of fun little side plots. Those sometimes grow into full adventures.

This set of rules is 14 pages long, but in most of these scenarios, really we're just making a couple of die rolls.

In the beginning, it talks about how this is a way to give players things to do between sessions. I've noticed that a lot of players don't want to do that. I'm sure many of you have tried resolving little things through email between sessions, and it takes so long to get one response that you never get anywhere.

I think that, in order for this to be something people want to participate in, it needs to be exciting. It needs to be a thing where, when you sit down together to play again, the players ask each other, "so what happened to you since last session?" and the player tells a funny story that has put their character in some amusing condition/situation or they obtained something new and cool. Or maybe they learned something that sheds new light on their goals and gives them either an advantage or direction that gets people excited.

Foils

These are downtime bad guys. You'll either use NPCs from your campaign, or, if none fit, make them up.

I think that it might be useful to draw from character backgrounds and incorporate them into downtime. I have found it really hard to work backgrounds into campaigns, because each player's background is so different. Players do get disappointed when their story that they came up with doesn't really get used, and this seems like a great way to utilize it.

It might be a good idea to have each player create one foil and one ally from their background. Then, you don't have to make them up. They're already made, and you know the player is interested in them, because they created them.

I think the foils should be more directly baked into the charts. It seems like a bit of work to fit them in with some of these downtime activities.

Complications

There is a 10% chance that there is a complication in your downtime task. There's tables for them. It seems like a lot of work was put in to something that is not going to happen very much. I think that there should always be a complication or  development. There should be good things, bad things, or interesting things. I think it should always take a logical step that surprises the player.

For example, with buying a magic item:
  • Good: The item has an extra power of some kind.
  • Neutral: Somebody else wants the item, and the seller will give it to the highest bidder. The player can try to negotiate with the other person, or undercut them. The other person might be somebody really cool, like a famous NPC or person with clout in the city. It could be the foil! Maybe they need the item for something really important, and they'll tell the character they'll give it to them for a discount once they've used it for what they need.
  • Bad: They have a whole list in this document already. Let's go with.. the seller is murdered before the sale.
Carousing
This is my favorite, and it's always been my favorite. I love running sessions where the heroes are out to have a good time. There is so much you can do with it.

D&D tends to be very dark. There's a lot of killing. It is so refreshing to run a session fueled by joy. The quest for shenanigans! To me, that's really what D&D is about. Players love it and you can come up with all sorts of ridiculous events. Drinking contests, getting hit on, arm wrestling, gambling, drunken debauchery, you name it.

My group did this one. Bidam went carousing. He paid 500 gp to spend a week carousing in high class places, which, in the city of Sigil, is the Lady's Ward.

We actually rolled a complication. He promised to go on a quest, which I had to make up right there. It ended up being that Bidam promised someone he'd try to get the Lady of Pain to forgive Fell, the fallen dabus. This is a ridiculously difficult quest coupled by the fact that the group hates Fell.

Contacts: What this version of carousing comes down to is making a contact - an NPC ally. If you roll really low, you end up with an enemy. Roll high, make a friend.

It just wasn't enough. It's two rolls. Roll for a complication. Roll a skill check.

I mean, what happened over the week? Where did he go? What did he do? These rules don't cover any of that, it's up to me to make it up. I think you should roll for things that happen every single day of carousing. The way it is right now, it feels flat.

Crafting an Item

Making a magic item, that's cool, right? I've always loved the idea of it, but it has never really worked out in practice. I give my group magic item formulas but they don't really do anything with them. For a while, Theran was making and selling javelins of lightning, but the group's other businesses make much them much more money. I mean.. they have dwarves mining gems for them.

In this version of the rules, you need the right kit to make the item. As in, a herbalism kit, leatherworker's tools, etc. Right there, that's a hurdle. I think they should include an NPC for each of these things that the PC can hire. Most people are only proficient with one kit, it just seems like this isn't going to work. They just won't bother with it because it's already too much trouble.

You'll need ingredients, which involves dealing with a monster. That's cool. The more powerful the item, the more powerful the monster.

Theran was going to make a rope of climbing. I declared that he needed a hair of an annis hag, a monster from Volo's Guide to Monsters.

The heroes know a bunch of hags, so they had no trouble finding the location of an annis. They went to her hut and wow, annis hags are creepy. They skin babies! The group was appalled and a fight broke out. The hag bear-hugged the party's rogue sidekick and threw her through a table. Theran lightning-bolted the hag numerous times, pretty much destroying the hut and the hag. They plucked a hair from her.

Looking at the chart, if takes 5 workweeks to make this. It takes 100 workweeks to make a very rare item!

Too Long: To me, that just doesn't work. Most campaigns that I've seen don't take years in game time. In real life, 6 months might go by and in the campaign just 2 weeks passes. Heck, I've seen groups be in the same dungeon for 6 months of real life time.

This is discussed in the beginning of the document. It requires you to adjust your campaign so that months pass between sessions. I don't think that's bad, I like it. But I think that most people don't do that.

I can see situations where a player will go, "Hey, let's not go fight the dragon until I've made this staff." The group will ask how long it will take. "Two years."

Shortening the Time: They're not going to wait. That staff will never get made. It think the time needs to be shorter. This could be explained by getting other wizards or casters to help you make it. Together, you enact a ritual over the course of a week or something. Maybe it involves calling on your god to bless the item, or you have to pour a portion of your lifeforce into it, maybe draining you in some way for a few weeks. Maybe putting your lifeforce into it means it is imbued with your personality to some degree. Or maybe you are bonded to it, and if it is destroyed, you are mortally wounded. If you die, it is destroyed.

I just think that the timetable absolutely kills the chance that people are going to bother with this.

Crime

What a cool idea. This involves three checks: Stealth, Dex, and then either Investigation, Perception or Deception.
  • All 3 Fail: You're in jail. Possible outcomes:
  • 1 Success: Fail but escape
  • 2 Successes: Partial success, half the payout.
  • 3 Successes: You get the payout.
The DC depends on how much money you're gunning for.

Punishment for getting caught is paying a fine equal to the amount you tried to steal. You're jailed for one week per 25 gp value. OK.. just trying to steal 200gp, that's eight weeks in jail! And 1,000 gp, that's 40 weeks!

Again, that can mess up a campaign and it might cause problems. The rest of the group won't want to wait for that person to get out. They'll just tell the player to make a new character or something.

A lot of these increase the DM's work load. You have to make up a place that is being robbed, you have to make up the victim and if the character is in jail.. then what? What if the group goes on an adventure without them?

Someone should make a bank robbery adventure, that would be a lot of fun.

Buying a Magic Item


You spend 100 gp and spend one work week (5 business days, basically). Make a Persuasion check. The higher the check, the better the items found. The DM then has to roll on one of the magic item tables.

The hero is probably looking for a specific item. It seems extremely difficult to get it. You have to roll the exact table it is on. I'd probably just say that if you rolled high enough, and the item is on a table that is found on the list of results lower than your roll, you find it, or at least have a good chance.

The way it is now, the character will be spending weeks and weeks to find it and they're going to get bored or feel like it is a waste of time.

Gambling

You can bet up to 1,000 gp. This one involves three checks. The DC is 5 +2d10, rolled for each of the three checks. The best result is for you to double your money.

I like it, I guess.

Pit Fighting

This one's odd. You roll three checks to determine how the battle goes. I think a lot of players would be disappointed to find that they don't get to roll out the fight or anything. The reward is just a bit of gold. You can make up to 200 gp per week.

This one is just too abstract for my liking.

Relaxation

This is an interesting idea. You gain advantage on saves vs. disease and poisons. At the end of the week, you can end an effect that stops you from regaining hit points or you can restore an ability score if it was reduced.

There's no complications, no nothing. Relaxation is amusing, there should be something. Maybe you have a deep thought that changes your perspective. Maybe you realize something about an ally or an adventure. Maybe you gain weight!

Religious Service

You make a check. You can earn favors and promises of future assistance. You could get spells cast for you more cheaply, or gain nebulous support.

This is too vague for me. Again it feels like I have to come up with everything for this.

Research

You spend money and you roll. The higher you roll, the more pieces of lore you learn. This seems like a cool way to learn about a monster you might have to face. In the Eberron campaign, we did research on rakshasas and this would have helped.

It's always weird when it comes to monster lore. I know what the monster does in real life, but does my character know? As a DM, I say that anything a player knows, a character knows, at least as far as monsters. It's a benefit earned by playing a lot and investing time in the game.

We can say that your character heard about it. I'd imagine that in the campaign world, people talk about monsters a lot. In our world, people talk a bit about bigfoot, so I'd imagine a world full of dragons and orcs that are right there over the next hill are going to be studied and discussed a lot.

Scribing a Spell Scroll

You pay money depending on how high level the spell is. Making a scroll of a 5th level spell takes 8 weeks and 5,000 gp. I just don't think that will work. That's too much time and I think players would recoil in horror at the idea of spending 5,000 gp to cast a spell one single time.

Selling a Magic Item

I like this one. If you roll high, you can actually sell an item for more than it is worth.

Training

There's really nothing to this. It takes at least 10 weeks! I don't see this getting much use. I guess it might be interesting if you run a game where the group has to train before they gain a level as then you could use this and maybe make up some events that happen during the training involving learning their new spells or abilities.

Work

Get a job! What a funny idea. This can be used for bards who want to perform. There should probably be a "Perform" downtime, and you roll to see how your performance is received. Low means people are throwing tomatoes at you, high means you're becoming a local celebrity.

Overall

I think this is still a work in progress. It's hard to figure out how to handle it. People like me want details, lots of details, but if you're trying to use it as something to do between sessions, then it should just be a few rolls. That said, I think they need to spice it up and make sure that something interesting always happen during downtime.

Dice, Camera, Action: Episode 45 - Storm King's Thunder

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Episode 45: Fire Giant Override
It will be interesting to see how this episode matches up with the "small animal" episode last week.

The Party

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander
(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue
(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard
(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

 
When we last saw the waffle crew, Paultin was off on his own and got knocked out by an iron golem commanded by a dao (earth genie). The rest of the group rescued a dwarf prisoner but ended up getting cornered by the fire giants.

Near the end of last episode, Strix drank a potion of frost giant strength. At the start of today’s session, she actually knocked the fire giant, Duke Zalto, over.

Elsewhere, Paultin wakes up and the dao apologizes. He points out that fire giants are trying to get into the room. The golem is blocking the door., keeping them out.

The dao snaps his fingers, and Evelyn's armor of invincibility appears on Paultin. It is eventually determined that because Paultin isn’t attuned to it, he doesn’t get the benefits of it.

Paultin creates a waffle hut (leomund's tiny hut) so that he and the golem are inside of it, and casts a thunderwave inside the golem. The golem responds by letting out poison gas that knocks Paultin out.
The Duke drops Strix and the dwarf in the same round. Strix is unconscious, no death saves. The rest of the group is invisible, although flour is thrown and pretty quickly the whole group is visible.

Diath tries to diplomacy the giants and rolls a cool 8. He eventually tells the giants that they are here just looking for their pets. The Duke thinks that's the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

Suddenly, there's a massive crash. That's the pets from last session causing the huge golem to collapse.

The duke thinks that the heroes are just a distraction as part of some bigger scheme. The duke puts Diath in the cage in his maul. Poor Strix gets up and then the wife drops her once more by hitting her with a cauldron.



Diath starts freaking out.. he seems to really hate being imprisoned.

The genie shrinks Paultin and puts him in the golem. The genie also snaps his fingers and the armor appears on him. He is dubbed "Smalltin."

The duchess grabs Evelyn and they get into an argument. She carries Evelyn into the kitchen, where there are some ogres and smoke mephits.

Diath is brought into the golem room. He sees a massive sword (70 feet long) and a big heart. He also spots the construct that the pets collapsed. He spots double doors and he’s sure that they they lead to the outside.

The duke is looking for his hell hounds. Diath tries to pick the lock of the cage but fails. The Duke puts the maul down.

Wow.. the duchess tries to dump Evelyn into a giant stew. Evelyn goes in, and then flies out with her magic boots.

Diath tries to pick the lock again.. natural 20!

Now they need to pick the lock of the ginormous door that is way high up there. Strix is going to turn Diath into gaseous form so he can slowly gas his way up there.. Wait.. here comes Evelyn. The duchess is chasing her. Evelyn flies up to the heart, thinking she can use it as leverage to get the giants to back off.

Diath tells her to break it. Evelyn gets excited and Anna describes a very amusing slow motion scene where she flips her hair, stew goes flying, spins and hacks into the heart.. and her beloved axe, Lightfall, explodes. The group is somewhat devastated. Evelyn lets out a blood-curdling scream.

Diath sees the Duke looking through the wreckage.. there's Waffles the baby owlbear, about to be discovered by the fire giant.


Overall

 
Good show! I guess there were some technical problems so the tone was a bit weird, but no big deal. This does a good job of demonstrating how you can use Ironslag. I feel like I didn’t “get” the place until just now. 


Planescape: Blood War IX. The Dark Angel of the Four Winds

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For this session of Planescape, I had to decide what happened to Bidam when he fell into the rift in the center of the Abyss. I had a bunch of ideas. At first I thought it would be fun to have him team up with a harpy, go into one of the portals in the side of he rift and try to survive in some obscure abyssal realm.

I had other ideas, too. Ultimately I decided to dangle the harpy in front of Bidam and completely leave it up to him to tell me if anything happens.

The Party

(Jessie) Bidam - Platinum-Scaled Dragonborn Fighter
(George) Theran - Elf Wizard 

Last time, the devil army tried to march through the Abyss and it didn't go well. A demon army attacked them and this huge demon lord named Codricuhn rose up out of the rift and attacked everyone.

Bidam was falling in the rift, which, they say, is bottomless. He could see portals in the walls of the rift zipping by. Falling near him was a demon harpy. Her wing was cut. She looked at Bidam and hissed. What did Bidam do?

He didn't attack, he continued to observe her. The harpy used her charming song on him, singing "Be my protector" or something like that. Bidam had already made a save against another harpy's song on this day, and thus he was immune to this effect for the rest of the day.

He decided to pretend to be charmed. She glided over to him and held onto him from behind, singing to him and referring to him as her "dragon protector."

They continued to fall. Some creatures were hovering deep in the rift. They were ferroliths. A commenter pointed out to me that the ferroliths work perfectly into what I am doing. I read up on it and wow, he was right. The ferroliths hate Grazzt and want him dead, and they live right here on the Plain of 1,000 Portals.

Even better, I'd used a ferrolith previously as an attendant to Bidam's wife. The ferroliths knew who Bidam was already.

So these two matched speeds with Bidam, talked to him, and ultimately agreed to fly him to their home. They asked if he wanted them to "scrape" the harpy off his back. Bidam decided to 'keep' her.

The harpy's name is Xanthip Shrew. For the rest of the session she rode on his back and whispered nefarious plans in his ear. Her charming song was very, very useful.

The Sorcerous Duel
 
Meanwhile, Theran had teleported to safety. He was in the throne room of his flying castle in the abyssal realm of Azzagrat. He ate some healing berries, and noticed a scrying sensor nearby. His robe of eyes lets him see invisible, and thus he had no trouble spotting this thing.

He wondered who was scrying him. Then he guessed... Iggwilv. And yep, she appeared. It was a simulacrum, a clone of her made from ice and snow. Iggwilv is trapped in Grazzt's palace.

Iggwilv confessed to being the one who sent the meteor swarm down on his palace last session. She said she would continue to do so unless he did three things for her:
  1. Agree to help Grazzt capture his enemy, Varin, under the condition that Iggwilv was freed of her imprisonment.
  2. Hand over the sphere of annihilation.
  3. Hand over the staff of power. She said, "I already have one, but it might be nice to have a backup."
Theran refused and here we go, sorcerer duel!

Iggwilv used telekinesis to send Theran flying into a wall. Theran cast disintegrate, blowing a hole through her abdomen. Ice and snow dripped from within.

She was hurt, but still alive. She cast finger of death. The thin black beam struck Theran and dropped him.

He came to momenst later, with his silent imp sidekick Barbagg stuffing healing berries into his mouth. He could see his ally, the succubus nurse Joiifercus sneaking up on Iggwilv. Iggwilv didn’t notice because she was looking at her wound, freaked out.

The nurse gave Iggwilv the succubus kiss of doom. Iggwilv threw her to the ground and began to cast a spell. Theran cast his own finger of death first, dropping Iggwilv. Then.. the demon babies that the nurse watches came crawling in. All of them are spawn of Grazzt. They devoured the remains of Iggwilv’s simulacrum as Theran watched, disturbed. He took special notice of what looked to be the child of Lamashtu and Grazzt. It had dark skin, long claws and three red eyes.

The Iron Maiden
 
Back in the rift, the ferroliths flew Bidam up and out. There were lots of smoke and thousands of harpies and vrocks in the air, obscuring the scene. Bidam would eventually learn that Bazuuma, Bechard the demon whale and Pazuzu knocked Codrichn back into the rift.

Bidam and his harpy backpack were flown to a palace made from one million broken swords. This is the home of the ferroliths.

He was led to the throne room. A line of ferroliths, which are essentially succubi with metal skin, watched him walk by. They were all in awe of Bidam, as he had platinum scales. One ferrolith with a swedish accent touched his scales and said, "you are like me, yes?" She had platinum skin. The harpy swatted her hand away.

My terrible Swedish accent sounds like my terrible German accent, and immediately Jesse began scheming on how to get me to have to roleplay a conversation between. She finds it hilarious when I have to roleplay two NPCs talking to each other because I hate it so much.

Bidam met the Iron Maiden. Hey, that's her name in the book, I didn't make it up. I gave her a grand, heavy metal entrance, stepping out of an iron coffin with smoke spewing out, extending her claws as the ferroliths cheered.

The Iron Maiden explained to Bidam that the ferroliths were created when Grazzt threw a bunch of traitorous succubi into a lake of molten iron. They didn't die, they became the first ferroliths. Their goal is to kill Grazzt. What's more, it actually says in the book that they want to reach out to the devils to team up! The heroes are allies with the devils, how great is that?

Bidam agreed to work with them to eventually try to kill Grazzt. She said Bidam could choose one of her three best ferroliths to stay with him so they could report back and keep lines of communication open. The choices were some stupid joke NPCs I made up:
  • The Gold Lady: She's covered in gold and acts like a spoiled princess
  • Iron Schlong: He's a dude with an iron.. well, you know.
  • Devarda: She's the platinum Ferrolith.
Bidam picked Devarda.

From there, Bidam was able to go home. He, Theran, and their two new sidekick NPCs met with Bazuuma, Bidam's demon lord wife.

The group was worried that their friends Drokkarn the pit fiend and Bovina the cow lady were captured or dead.

The Lord's Rook
 
I made up Bazuuma in 4th edition as part of this Blackmoor campaign I ran. At that time, she was a nascent demon lord of vanity. The heroes of that campaign eventually used a chamber of positive energy on the world of Eberron to change her into a demon lord of self-esteem, basically. During that time, it was established that she used to date Pazuzu, ruler of the Plain of 1,000 Portals.

So Bazuuma knows a lot about Pazuzu. She explained that Drokkarn was likely imprisoned in the Lord's Rook, Pazuzu's floating home.

I read a bunch of stuff about Pazuzu and used as much as I could. I changed it a bit. I think the Lord's Rook is actually in Pazuzu's other layer, Torremor, but I stuck it here on the Plain of 1,000 portals. It's already confusing enough, I don't want to throw another layer into the mix.

So the group rested and then went to break into Pazuzu's floating Palace. They made their way through magic doors and snuck past guards. Ultimately, the harpy charmed a guard, who led the group to a prison.

I've mentioned before I don't like violent torture in D&D. I use joke torture. Drokkarn and Bovina were being “tortured” by having to sweep up feathers in an aviary for four hours a day using brooms with bristles that were sort of too soft. And they only got a 15-minute break each hour! They weren't sure how much more of this they could take.

The group were able to use their little magic jar with Lord Stillborn in it to teleport everyone out of there, including the charmed vrock, who got an all-expenses-paid trip to Bidam's demon breeding farm.

The heroes were eventually contacted by Pazuzu, who wasn't angry. He wanted to make them an offer. They returned to his home and met him in his throne room.

Pazuzu has this giant floating throne called The Blinding Claw detailed in multiple books. It is in the shape of a talon and can blind people. If you sit on this thing and you are not Pazuzu, you turn into a vrock and lose the memories of your old life forever! Pretty awesome.

I made up a new consort/girlfriend for Pazuzu, the "Queen of the Harpies." She's not the demon lord of harpies. I am pretty sure that there already is one. Her name is Ardat, I think. This is just some sub-ruler or something.

I wanted to run Pazuzu like Starscream from the old transformers cartoon - a whiny schemer. With her there, I could have him whine to her and kind of put his personality on display.

Once I'd read about Pazuzu, I saw how perfectly he fits into everything. He hates two demon lords: Lamashtu and Grazzt! The two big bad guys in my campaign! Lamashtu is a Pathfinder demon lord, but she has been mentioned in more than one D&D book. It's amazing how everything fits together.

Pazuzu had a few things to say:
  • He hates Lamashtu and wants to help the devil army get to her layer. He told the group about a tunnel that could get the army there, unnoticed.
  • He wants Grazzt dead and will help them any way he can.
  • He told them if they say his name out loud three times, they can communicate telepathically for one minute. This is from an old Dragon Magazine article.
The group also met the anzu, a monster from that issue of Dragon.

It's supposed to be a dragon-sized creature with a lion's head, but the art makes it look a bit like a kitty cat. I had it meet the group. I rolled some dice, and the dice told me that it liked Theran. I did that cat-thing where it rubs up against you. The anzu is covered in oil, so Theran got oil all over him.

As the group left, the Queen of the Harpies contacted them via a sending spell. She wants them to help her overthrow Pazuzu!

The heroes were pretty pleased. I don't think they want to overthrow Pazuz, they have too much on their plate right now But maybe wayyyy down the road I can roll that out as a surprise that blindsides them in some fashion.

The heroes caught word that the demon army of Lamashtu was pouring into the layer that the devils had taken. The demons were trying to take it back!

General Khorramzadeh
The adventurers got there and saw a massive battle taking place. Khorramzadeh, the colossal balor general, was standing right in the middle of the fighting kicking the crap out of everybody. Khorramzadeh is a Pathfinder bad guy.

Theran got on the death hurler and started firing off spells. Bidam flew up to Khorramzadeh and hacked into him with the sword of sharpness.

Khorramzadeh tried to use his massive lightning whip to hit Theran, but he missed and soldiers went flying. He hit the death hurler with his giant sword and tipped it over, sending Theran falling into a crowd of dretches.

A lamia hit Bidam with a chaos hammer spell that sent him falling to the ground.

The group rallied from there and started piling on damage. Theran with disintegrate and finger of death, Bidam with the sword of sharpness.

Fun fact: Bidam finally rolled a natural 20 with the sword. It does a pile of extra lightning damage. Khorramdadeh is a special balor who is lightning-based, and thus is immune to lightning. In all this time, I don't think Bidam ha ever been able to get anything off of the sword's critical effects.

Khorramzadeh was very close to dying. He had no choice but to teleport away. When he fled, the demon army panicked and scattered. The demons were chased down and slaughtered. The devils cheered. They had held on to their layer of the Abyss.

The Trump Adventure: I asked the players what they wanted to do next time: Lead the devil army through the tunnel or go after Gonard Flumph, the Donald Trump NPC who has been causing them problems. There was no hesitation. They want to take down Gonard Flumph.

So I'm going to try to work in all the trump stuff I can and translate it to D&D. Putin, Michael Flynn, Kellyanne Conway, Pence and his mother/wife, and of course, peeing on Russian prostitutes, D&D-style.
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